Give Me A Break!

October 20, 2011

This last month has been very hectic. I’ve had stressful moments in the past, but at least they were spread out over time. Within a month, I’ve encountered several situations that have disrupted my peace.

#1: A Break Up

After a year and a half of wild adventures, sneaking around our co-workers, and spontaneity (a concept very new to me), my boyfriend and I broke up. We actually met at my restaurant. Honestly, he was the last person I thought I would be with. He's impulsive, adventurous, and rarely says no to any opportunity. These are all great characteristics but they were ones I’m not used to. I usually think things through before indulging in any activity (as you can tell by my preparation for this trip). I do love adventure but I usually don’t seek the day to day, heart racing, ‘you only live once’ kind of thrill. I prefer traveling adventures. Surprisingly, he helped me get through my teaching program. Actually, I don’t know if I would have done so well or even stayed sane throughout it if it weren’t for him. He helped bring fun into my life as I was rigorously planning lessons, waking up at 5 every morning, and acquiring different strains of influenza from my students every other week.

But our many differences are what got the best of us. He was also moving to LA at the time (and I really don’t like LA). It was a tough break up. Unfortunately, when I get stressed or sad, I lose my appetite. And I have a rather large appetite. Many people at work consider me to be a garbage disposal for their leftover food (the employees’ leftovers not the customers’). With the break up and the stress of preparing for the trip, I wasn’t eating very well and I ended up losing weight off my already skin and bones. But after weeks of healing and improved eating habits, we are now on our own separate adventure and moving on with our lives. He is living the life as a New Yorker and progressing rapidly in his career. I’m taking a break from my life in the U.S. and traveling throughout Southeast Asia.

#2: Broken Back

I’ve played volleyball for about 13 years or so. It swallowed up most of my academic and social life when I was young and it still serves as a big part of my life now. It’s the only sport that I am actually good at and the only sport I feel comfortable enough to let people watch (sex does not count). Since being out of college, I joined a co-ed indoor volleyball adult league. It has less competitive play and less structure (no practices, no real warm up) than I’m used to but it is fun. The team is probably the most positive and friendly team I’ve encountered, making the experience much more enjoyable. We play every Wednesday night and do relatively well. It also depends if our good luck charm (Lacey or Lara) or our bad luck charm (Ricky) is there and what combination of the three is there at the same time—essentially Lacey and Lara can neutralize Ricky’s bad juju. Still appreciate your support, Ricky!

This team has gotten me into beach volleyball as well. I started playing beach for the first time this summer with my teammates, Guillermo and Lauren. They are both amazing players and they taught me everything I needed to know about beach. When Guillermo and I play doubles, he usually won’t let me be partners with anyone else, except for Lauren. I feel so loved!

Recently, Lauren asked me to play in a CBVA (California Beach Volleyball Association) tournament with her. We ended up doing very well in the tournament and surprisingly, I received my A ranking in beach volleyball. I was so excited! This ranking lasts for the rest of the current season and it will help me get placed in tournaments and be accepted into more competitive beach tournaments. But this high did not last for too long.

A couple days later, I was playing a double header with my indoor team. I went for a ball that was too far out of my reach. As the setter on my team, I ran towards the ball, threw my pelvis forward to try to set it backwards but the rest of my body stayed far behind. This may not make sense for those who do not play volleyball (or even for those who do play volleyball), but I essentially bent my back too far back. I fell on the ground and couldn’t get up. I had to drag myself off the court and ended up needing a lot of help out of the gym after the game finished.

I’ve had back problems in the past but it was never this bad. I’ve never felt this pain before. I had radiating pain down to my ankles and could not use my legs effectively. I could not straighten my back and I was walking as a right angle for the next couple of days. My super considerate friends pretended to walk like an old lady around me and even went as far as fixing their hands around an imaginary cane and folding their lips in over the teeth as if they didn’t have teeth. Classy, guys! In addition, they told other people about my old lady stature and so those few motioned the old lady walk immediately upon seeing me. Because of my inability to walk, I had to give a couple of my serving shifts away.

I thought that if I waited a while, the pain would just go away. But it just got worse. Especially since I was spending a lot on this trip, I really could not afford to go to the doctor’s, let alone get X-rays and an MRI (which have been recommended to me several times in the past). I was afraid that I would have to get surgery to fix my back. Definitely one thing I would not be able to afford. Instead, I tried my own at-home remedies such as stretching, not moving for long periods of time, sleeping with 5 pillows under my legs, and taking friends’ expired vicadin. Surprisingly, the vicadin did not work for the pain. Rather, it just made me jittery and loopy and I used it once at work to try to get through a 6 hours shift. Finally, I called my doctor and explained my situation. They wanted me to come in for a comprehensive exam and physical therapy treatment. But I didn’t have the time or money. Since I sounded so desperate for some type of momentary relief and the doctors knew that I didn’t have any previous issues with drug abuse (muah haha…so they thought!), they gave me a couple of shots to appease my pain off the record. The shots helped for the day, but it ended up coming right back.

The pain was getting to be so much and it was affecting me at work so I finally decided to get an MRI to find out what was really going on with my back. When filling out my application at an orthopedic doctor’s office, the receptionist asked for my driver’s license. As she scanned it carefully, she asked,” For billing purposes, is the address on your license your current address?” The address on my driver’s license was actually my parent’s home address. In pathetic desperation, I lied and maliciously said yes. I ended up having so much guilt about it, I ended up telling my mother about it.

Before setting up my MRI appointment, the doctor prescribed me some anti-inflammatory medicine and muscle relaxers. The combination of medication really helped with the pain and finally helped me sleep normally. A couple days later, I had my MRI appointment, at 7 in the morning! I figured I would be able to sleep during the scan since I would be lying down in the MRI machine for a long period of time. I even mentioned taking a nap to the doctor who helped me get into the machine. But he did not care to tell me that being in a MRI machine is like being in a constricting aluminum tube with someone banging on each side of the exterior with a metal rod every couple of seconds. After an agonizing 30 minutes of this orchestra of sounds, I finally got my results. It wasn’t good.

When looking at my scan, all my discs look white and healthy except for my L5 disc (the last disc in the spine). It was almost black in the scan and was considered dehydrated according to the doctor. Since there isn’t too much blood flow that goes through discs, once the disc is damaged, it becomes difficult for it to create healthy cells again. Upon seeing my scans, the doctor told me that I have a herniated disc (one that he recognized as an older injury) and a tear in the same disc (the injury from my volleyball game). He told me that the tear will heal (and will heal more properly with proper physical therapy and rest) but the herniation cannot be fixed. But as long as the herniation does not grow and compress my spinal cord enough to make me lose my bowels, I would not need surgery. In addition, he told me that I have a 10 week period of time to let it heal properly and I was required to rest for the duration of 5 months or more.

I am pretty sad because I cannot finish up the season with my indoor league and beach volleyball team. Furthermore, I won’t be able to use my new beach ranking anymore this season because of the injury. I guess it can seem like good timing since I won’t be playing too much volleyball while teaching in Thailand.

#3: Broken Computer

My computer died again! I have had my MacBook for 5 years and each year since the beginning, it has crashed and erased my entire hard drive. Five times! It has erased pictures, music, and important documents. Once, the day before my application for a university was due, my computer crashed and erased my application essay. I had to write the essay all over again within a 24 hour period. Last year, the computer’s power adapter died and after I went to the Apple store to replace it, I came back home and my computer battery died. I had to go back that same day to get another replacement. I haven’t had the best luck with this computer. But I have been more careful to back up my computer every month or so.

After finishing my teaching program, I backed up my computer. Good thing, since there were a lot of lessons and teaching material that I worked hard on during the last year. After the last back up, I created a lot of documents for my prospective teaching in Thailand. I downloaded multiple training materials from my program and constructed several lesson plans and projects that I needed for my training and teaching. I also created a Ruby instruction manual, so my parents would know how to take care of my dog for the next 7 months. Lastly, I wrote three blog posts in a separate Word document, those of which were almost completed. These were all erased, including the post that I am rewriting right now. I was pretty upset. I went over to the Apple store in hopes that they would be able to restore the contents of my computer.

When I got there, all the employees looked devastated. One employee kept on stating, “Oh man!” and “Oh my god!” in a very abrupt and abrasive tone. I finally asked one employee what was wrong. He informed me that their founder, Steve Jobs, just died of pancreatic cancer. I was sad about his death of course but then I made a bizarre connection. I was I’m probably making too light of the situation, but isn’t it odd that my Apple computer died the same day that Steve Jobs died? What if all Apple products just stopped working when their founder died? What a strange thought!

After finally getting help on my computer, I explained my whole debacle with my Apple computer. The employee was not interested in my story and told me that he is going to charge me 300 dollars to fix what might be wrong. I asked if he can recover any of my hard drive and he coldly told me that it would not be possible. I asked if he knows what might have happened and he again, without emotion, told me that he doesn’t know. I know that Steve Jobs just died but jeeze, he was rude! It didn’t even seem like he tried. I was pretty upset about the situation so I called my dad, who was even more upset. He told me to start causing a scene in the store and yell out, “Macs are inefficient. I’m going to get a Dell instead!” I thought this wouldn’t have done me any good so I took a seemingly more rational approach. I tried to reason with the guy and said:

"So if I were to spend 300 dollars today to fix my computer, there is a possibility it will break down a couple months down the line, right? There is a possibility that the 300 dollars I spend won’t actually do any good for my computer? Well, here is the thing. I need a computer. I need a working computer that can at least last the next couple months without breaking down. From what you are saying, it doesn’t seem like this computer will last. But I can’t afford another Mac since they tend to cost around 2,000 dollars. So what I can actually do is take the 300 dollars used to fix this time bomb of a machine and instead buy a PC computer for the same amount."

He answered yes to all my questions. So I calmly responded, “Thanks, that’s all I needed to know.”

I left the store, went to the car, and cried for a bit. I needed to bring a computer to Thailand for both training and teaching. Now I don’t have a working computer and I would have to buy another computer. Again, a computer is something I couldn’t afford at this time. With some research and help from a few people, I found a relatively cheap PC. I can’t believe I switched over. My family (especially my dad) is a huge advocate for Apple products and has been loyal customers since Apple first started. Because of this incident, I think we may be switching over to PC’s now.

#4: Being Broke

Business at my restaurant has been the slowest it has ever been since I’ve been working here. This is mainly due to the remodeling of our parking lot. The fall months are usually pretty slow already but without much of a parking lot, prospective customers are deterred from coming in. This construction process is supposed to take 20 weeks but it feels like it has been much longer. These 20 weeks basically have ruined my chances of making extra money for my trip before leaving this job.

As employees, we get a separate parking lot farther from the rest of the shops. So luckily, construction has not affected our parking situation. But it has affected people’s attitudes towards us. Tips have become progressively worse. People don’t want to tip as much when they are unhappy. I’ll admit, it could be my poor service but I don’t think I’m that bad at my job. Even if people do come in, they come in very frustrated and angry. We, servers don’t even stand a chance!

Customers complain about the parking all the time now. I am usually sympathetic and I complain with them. Sometimes, customers blame me (the server) for creating a hostile dining experience. I understand the frustration though. I once tried parking in this same lot to visit another store and it took me almost 40 minutes to find parking. I almost got into two accidents while searching for a spot as well. I ended up parking in a loading only spot and had to rush out of there in fear of getting towed. No wonder no one wants to come in anymore.

Many of my co-workers have been forced to get a second job. Many servers can only get one or two shifts a week. We used to make around 80-150 dollars in tips a night. Now, most servers are making 20-40 dollars a shift. My saving has gradually depleted since planning my trip and since the construction has started. I guess it’s been okay though. With work being so slow, we have actually been getting better reviews from the few customers that do come in happy.  With less to do during work, we also have been able to take more breaks, eat feasts as we work, play games, and have deep, meaningful conversations with each other. I am fairly happy that I’ve been able to hang out and get to know my co-workers during these leisurely times, especially while getting paid hourly.

Overall, this was a pretty straining time for me. All these situations plus the energy used to plan this trip caused me so much stress this month that I missed my period entirely. I know, too much information. But telling you about my menstrual cycle is the necessary way to demonstrate the severity of my stress. I have never missed my period before. So of course, I worried. And because I worried, it most likely delayed it even more. But good news! I’m not pregnant or going through menopause or have some other bodily dysfunction! I ended up getting my period the next month. Getting my period was the best thing to happen to me this week, which is usually not the case for most girls. That's how bad this month has been!

I also ended up getting pretty sick which caused me to both deepen and lose most of my voice. Oddly enough, this served as a benefit for my specific Halloween costume. I usually don’t like getting dressed up for any event but Lacey told me that if I did anything for Halloween, it should be something to celebrate Thailand. She asked me,” What is popular or well-known in Thailand?” My eyes brighten up as I thought of the most spectacular costume idea: a Thai lady boy! Since preparing for Thailand, I have learned so much about the ladyboy or katoey—Thailand’s third gender. Ladyboys are men who believe that they were supposed to be born as a woman or just have a strong desire to be a woman. Some are in transition and some have already completed their gender reassignment. This transformation includes long hair, makeup, feminine clothing, changing their names to female names, and mainly changing their genitalia. They are very beautiful and many times their beauty and poise can outshine actual women. They are so stunning that there are even famous world competitions for these ladyboys. Boys, beware when going to Thailand. I heard it’s very hard to decipher.

They look like beautiful women, don't they? I'm trying to keep this blog somewhat classy, so I decided to not use my own ladyboy picture.

I have been in awe of this subculture and have demonstrated to others of my interest in meeting them at some point. So for Halloween, I am going to embody a ladyboy both in body and in spirit (as best as I can). I knew that my costume would possibly require some type of short and tight skirt, a corset, heels, and drag make-up—penciled in eyebrows, fake lashes, and lots and lots of blush and lip. But the most important part of the costume and what makes a ladyboy, a boy, is the male genitalia (which I do not have yet). To produce a more authentic ladyboy image, I thought about a couple of options like stuffing myself with a sock and possible reconstructive surgery. Then I decided that instead I was going to purchase a strap-on for the event (a bit cheaper than surgery). Oh yes, a strap-on. For those who don’t understand, a strap-on is a sex toy that people use to add some extra flavor in their sex lives (or to have a sex life). It usually consists of a dildo (color and size of your choice) and straps that wrap around your waist and upper thighs. The straps securely hold up the dildo in order for it to be in a somewhat erect position for your partner’s pleasure. With a tight skirt, my bulge will be easily detected. Though I was hesitant to buy the strap-on since I had no real use for it, it does serve as a good novelty item. I can scare off prospective boys and weed out the weak ones. This will prove as a true testament of their appeal to me.

 After all said and done, my trip is still approaching and I'm excited for more stressful and memorable moments to come.

Man! What a month!

The Journey For My Visa

September 26, 2011

Getting my visa was a very confusing part of my preparation process for Thailand. What is a visa anyways? The only form of a visa I knew about before this trip was the credit card. I guess every time I have traveled or studied abroad (blonde or brunette?...yes I know, I always walk myself into that one), my parents would help get my visa. So this time I was on my own and had to get a Thai visa by myself. Beware! If you don’t want to get bored with overwhelming information about visas and unnecessarily detailed incidents I forced into my post to make my visa experience seem more exciting, then stop reading. Most of it is probably made up anyways.

Visa Information—

Learning about a visa was a bit difficult. It probably didn’t help as I tried researching information about Thai visas using the credible sites of Wikipedia and the Thai Embassy’s official site, which I was only able to view in Thai. So obviously my knowledge of visas was superficial and maybe a bit skewed since all I have learned in Thai is “hello” (Sawatdee Ka) and “thank you” (Kob  Khun Ka). After tedious research and my persistent pestering of the ATI program director through online chat, I figured the visa I needed to get would be the non-immigrant B visa. This visa would allow me to work legally in Thailand for 6 months to a year but it was pretty expensive (about $200).

But of course, I ran into a problem. The non-immigrant B visa requires a Thai working permit, which the ATI program is not able to give me until I am actually in Thailand. So my next option would be to get a tourist visa. When visiting Thailand on vacation, the government allows you to stay in the country for 30 days before you would need to purchase a visa like the tourist visa. The tourist visa would allow me to stay in the country for 60 days but prohibits me from working in the country. Since it was still uncertain when I will receive my working permit, it would be better to get the tourist visa to ensure that I can stay in the country longer than 15 days if needed. I figured that I would be training in Bangkok for the first month so it wouldn’t be a big deal to not have my non-immigrant B visa right away.

In order to transfer my tourist visa into non-immigrant B visa, I would go on a visa run (which is the most exciting part of this process I believe!). This means that I am required to “run” into another country nearby in order for my visa to expire and transfer into a long term visa (with an additional cost of course!). Because there needs to be time to process the visa, many times it is necessary for you to stay in the other country for a couple of days. So I’m excited. I have my pick of Cambodia, Laos, Malaysia, and Burma since they are neighboring countries. Though, I will most likely go to Cambodia since it is the closest country to travel to from Bangkok.

After learning about all this, I knew that the tourist visa would be the visa I needed to get before entering the country. But I also had a very short deadline to get this visa since all visa prices were to be raised 30% more by the beginning of October. When getting a visa from an embassy, it can be a bit frustrating. The embassy (or consulate) is only located in big cities. And there is only one Thai Consulate in California—downtown Los Angeles. I think there may be one in San Francisco but I couldn’t find it. It also takes time to process a visa application. If mailed in (which most people do if they don’t live close to the consulate), it can take weeks to process the application and you have to surrender your passport (with the hopes that the postal service won’t lose it). Or you can walk in to the consulate and it would only take a day to process your visa. You also need specific materials to receive a visa: your passport, a copy of your passport, plane information (required for some visas), a previously filled out application (key phrase: previously filled), 2 copies of a passport picture, and a money order or cashier’s check of the specific amount owed.

The Trip—

Despite the severe animosity I have towards Los Angeles, I decided to travel to the consulate so I would get my visa and passport back sooner. My friend Lacey and I traveled to the most vile and torrid valley of LA—Reseda, in order to visit Reseda’s infamous Lull Street Boys (a homo-erotic boy group whose party habits consist of singing Lion King love songs, consuming a profuse amount of watered-down beer and plastic bottled liquor, and wearing horse masks as a form of sexual play).  After a fun and alcohol- and possibly GHB-infested (jk) weekend with the Lull boys, Lacey and I traveled to the Thai Consulate on our way back home from Reseda. I had a time restraint though. The consulate was only available for visa applications at 9 in the morning, which posed a slight problem since I had to be at work at 11 that same morning. I didn’t know if the consulate had the same chaotic structure as a typical DMV in the US, in which you may have to wait in line for a couple of hours before even speaking to a representative. This was enough uncertainty to cause me stress.

As we tried to be there once the consulate opened, the traffic from Reseda to Downtown LA took forever. We tried to make things as happy as possible as we found our indie coffee shop, created my bucket list for Thailand, and observed individuals scowling in their cars. Have you ever noticed how angry people look in their cars, particularly in traffic? Most people might find it pretty reasonable for people to be angry in traffic.  But it is a lot of energy wasted on such a surface level notion. Of course, I’ve had my road rage moments in the past and currently. But there is a simple solution: just don’t live in Los Angeles. LA seems to spawn angry and impatient (yet creative) people. Lacey and I still don’t understand why anyone would want to move to LA. Why?

After an hour of stop and go traffic, we finally found the Thai Consulate. As I ran into the building, Lacey helped take Ruby, my vomit-smelling dog, on a walk. Unfortunately, my dog always has a terrible time in the car. Every time I have driven her for a period of 30 minutes or longer, she gets car sick. She actually has the power of projectile vomiting, mainly when in the car (which is also my excuse for getting into a car accident a few years back and the excuse I used when claiming my case to insurance—they didn’t get it).

Once getting into the building, I was in a hurry to get everything done. I was very jittery while waiting for the security guard to take down my information before directing me to the application office. I paced back and forth, looking as if I desperately needed to relieve myself. Physically, I looked terrible and probably suspicious. I had red blood shot eyes (for clarification: from lack of sleep), I was profusely sweating, and breathing heavily and probably foaming from the mouth. After reaching the visa application office, I immediately dumped all my visa materials on the desk, ready for them to process all my information. One of the employees looked at me with disgust and reluctantly gathered my materials together. She quickly scanned through my paperwork until she saw that my application wasn’t filled out at all. Oops! As she was explaining that this needs to be filled out completely before I can approach the desk, I saw other visa applicants start to trickle into line. I started to write down my information on the application right there on the desk but she angrily pointed towards a table across the room. I sat down at the table and quickly filled out the application. Though, I did try to be very vague with my written responses. My program specifically told me not to mention my employment endeavors in Thailand since the Thai Consulate would not be able to issue me a tourist visa knowing that I was working in Thailand. With the materials I had with me presently, the tourist visa was the only visa I was able to get.

I stepped into line again. Once at the front, I gave the same employee my application. She looked up at me with disappointment. She shoved the application back at me and pointed to the empty address and phone number line. She blatantly asked, “So you don’t have a house address? Where do you live? You are homeless? How about a phone? No phone?” I laughed shamefully as I realized I still forgot to fill out majority of the application. Again, she asked me to step aside to complete the application. I slowly started to shuffle off until I saw more people pour into the office. While standing, I quickly wrote down my address, phone number, and other important information. Then, I repositioned myself in the front of the line (essentially cutting the line). I felt bad but I was desperate to get back to work in time. Again, I dumped all my paperwork on the desk. So the same annoyed employee started to file all my materials (while shaking her head in disappointment). She took an extra hard look at my extra passport pictures I had to take for the visa application. She eyed me and then eyed these pictures several times as if she could not find the similarities between my real face and the spazzed out, disheveled person in the photo.

I was pretty embarrassed of my passport photos. I tried to rigorously prepare for this photo as I used my dad’s preparation list he emailed me as a guide:

5) Your passport picture:
-- Take a plain picture, you are less of a *target* for kidnapping. I'm serious; you don't want to look like a cheerful, bubble-headed, blonde cheerleader "on 'vacation' to help the poor Thai people find a good tanning salon." (stereotype of Reese Witherspoon in Legally Blonde).
-- If your pic looks serious but human, and your hair tied back, you present yourself as a no-nonsense, business-like person--not a girl.
-- Just assume that some Thai government people are corrupt and will sell pictures of pretty girls arriving at the Institute to kidnappers. Just think that way until you get settled. Look smart and alert, and your pose should imply confidence, not weakness.
-- No need to smile on official photos

First off, I’m not blonde. I don’t know why my dad kept on referencing being blonde when trying to warn me in both his writing and in person. Well at least that’s one thing I don’t have to worry about according to my dad. After several practice poses in front of my mirror and with MacBook’s Photobooth, I came prepared for my photo shoot at Walgreens.  I didn’t wear make-up and tried not to look like someone wanting to help others find a tanning salon?? The only thing is that most people think that I am a lot younger than I am. Not wearing make-up supports these judgments. Other’s perception of my age usually ranges from 12-17 years old. Within the last 2 years, I have been denied entry to a rated R movie, asked to try-out for a 13’s volleyball team, and genuinely asked by a customer at my restaurant if I were legally able to work yet (as I was servicing them…foolish huh?). By the way, I’m 24. So not wearing make-up or anything to help myself look more mature, makes me look even younger. If my pictures were sold, I might actually be more appealing as an underage girl (pedophilia is a more acceptable and somewhat desired concept in Thailand).

Right as I was posing for my picture, the photographer told me to show my ears and stop smiling. I was very confused by this since I was not aware that this was an actual rule. But with my dad’s wise words in mind, I thought it would be okay (my picture would be less desirable maybe). So I took the picture. It was terrible. I looked strained as I attempted to keep my mouth in a leveled and natural position. The right side of my upper lip had a bit of a snarl while one eye furiously widened more than the other. Surprisingly, I had a slight alfalfa on top of my head in this photo. To make matters worse, I had several blisters on my face since I recently had warts frozen off my face (gross!). As my dermatologist stated, I was a “dermatology dream.” Not because I had good skin or anything but because of the plethora of warts (common, flat, plantar…you name it) I had all over my body. Many people continue to remind me, “But you don’t have genital warts right? You need to make sure to clarify that part.” But honestly, I feel like I have had so many wart attacks that I wouldn’t be surprised.

The employee took my paperwork and told me to go on my way. So I ran out, or sped walked out of the building. After finding Lacey outside appeasing my dog’s high anxiety, I told her a bit of what happened. She thought it was strange that they kept my passport even when I made copies. So again, I ran back inside the building, checked in at the security desk, and cut in front of the entire line. She looked at me with disappointment (again) and stated, “What do you want?” I asked her about my passport situation and she explained that they need to place the visa inside the passport. After seeing the piles of applications interlaced with passports, I felt reassured that my passport was somewhat safe. Then I saw some of my documents still left on the desk (the ones I carelessly spilled). I realized that there was an important document from my program that stated that I would be working in Thailand. If they would’ve gotten a hold of this, I would have been denied a tourist visa. So I quickly grabbed it and ran out of the consulate. Good thing I went back!

Lacey and I headed back into town and actually got back within 30 minutes. There wasn’t traffic at all! I ended up going home, having enough time to walk my dog, eat breakfast, and watch an episode of How I Met Your Mother. I felt stupid for acting like a crazy person at the Thai Consulate.

Fast-Forward: October 6, 2011

Because I was paranoid that my passport was going to be lost or stolen while at the Thai consulate (thanks mom!), I found an opportunity to travel to Los Angeles at an earlier time. Lacey and I decided to take a trip to LA not only to drop a friend off at the airport but also to have another one of our wretched traffic ridden LA road trips. But this time, we had a lot more fun.

We actually got to the Thai Consulate in record time. I got my visa (and finally felt at ease). We also were able to go into the Consulate’s museum. We saw beautiful golden statues and headdresses and narrative posters relaying Thailand’s past and current historical events. Fun fact: Lacey and I actually found out that the current king of Thailand, King Bhumibol, not only is the longest reigning king in Thailand history but also was born in the United States, in Cambridge, Massachusetts. The Thai king is an American citizen! Turns out, Bhumibol was actually not destined to be a king, his older brother was. At the age of 18, Bhumibol was studying at college when his older brother died from a gunshot wound. Bhumibol changed his major to political science and law and quickly finished up his courses before taking the throne in Thailand. Interesting, huh?

Since we seemed to make several stops along the trip, we adapted one of our favorite TV shows’, How I Met Your Mother, habit of singing in the car during road trips. Two of the main characters would blast and sing along to the song, 500 Miles by the Proclaimers, every time they were on a road trip. Without actually knowing all the lyrics of the song, Lacey and I would sing the song acapella every time we started the car up again. It went like this:

Lacey and Christy: But I would walk 500 miles

Both: And I would walk 500 more

Both: Just to be the man who walked 1000 miles

Both: Duh duh duh blah duh duh duh (…we couldn’t remember the lyrics)

Lacey: Dada dat dah

Christy: Dada dat dah

Both: Dada duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh da

Then laughter for several minutes before even moving out of the parking space.

This happened a lot.

Additionally, we went on this bizarre expedition for McDonald’s. Normally, McDonald’s is not my food of choice but we were hungry, broke, and desperate. We yelped and googled every McDonald’s along our way home. But we could not seem to find any McDonald’s nearby. It was frustrating. After a good amount of searching, Lacey screamed. For a split second, I thought we were about to die since we were just driving over train tracks. I just imagined a train plowing straight into us and shattering the car and our bodies into pieces. I screamed, closed my eyes, and almost slammed on my brakes. But when looking around and seeing that there wasn’t a train in sight, I quickly turned to her and asked, “What happened? Is everything alright?” Without looking at me, her eyes gazing longingly before her and a smile so slight it was disturbing. Without speaking, she pointed her finger towards the McDonald’s ahead of us. I shrieked, “That was it! A McDonald’s! I thought we were both going to die by train!” We were dying of laughter at the concept that all the drama spurred from our odd desire for McDonald’s. We also laughed at the fact that not many people would let out a blood curdling scream for McDonald’s. The funny thing was we both had lunch dates to go to after. But we had to get our McDonald’s.

So I can now relax. I have almost all my official documents gathered in order to work in Thailand for the next 6 months. I just need my post-degree transcripts and verification letters (which can easily be retrieved from my university) and my background check (which has taken over 9 weeks to get back…I must have done something wrong).

After this whole debacle trying to research about visas, applying for my visa, and now getting my visa, I still actually don’t know how visas work. I think I will be okay to stay in Thailand for 60 days at this point, but I still will have to figure out the whole visa run concept and the ability to travel outside Thailand with my visa. Maybe, I’ll check Wikipedia again.

This is actually not a photo from either road trips. It was just the only one I had of Lacey and me in a car together.

Just My Luck!

Sept 9th, 2011

The week before I’m supposed to place a lot of money for my trip—this includes vaccination fees, plane ticket, the rest of my deposit—I received an email from my former mentor teacher telling me that I was going to get interviewed for his school’s kindergarten teaching position. This mentor teacher is a teacher at my dream elementary school. When student teaching at this school, I loved everything about the school: the staff, the kids, and the overall atmosphere. My teacher was an additional plus. He was funny, relatable, and he helped guide me through some of the toughest points in my teaching program. Though he did think I was a bit crazy and would poke fun of my ability to stress out at everything. My experience at this school is how I got to where I’m at presently. Let’s back up to the beginning.

Rewind: Spring-Summer 2011

It all started when I came back to the school to visit my mentor teacher and the 2^nd graders in May. It was a wonderful feeling sneaking into the back of the classroom and watching the kids one by one turn around and gasp at my presence. After not teaching or seeing these kids in about two months, I received what it felt like 100 hugs from each of them. It felt good especially since I was teaching 5^th grade at the time and didn’t receive hugs at all—any form of affection easily embarrassed them.

After saying my goodbyes to the kiddies, I went to the office to say hello to the principal. When just thinking it would be a quick greet, he asked me to sit down to discuss a possible future with the school. I was completely astonished when he told me that there were a couple positions opening up for the following school year and he wanted to get me in the interview process as soon as possible. He told me that if his school didn’t end up picking me up, he would do all he can to try to get me interviews at other schools in the district. He asked me to bring in my resumes and cover letters so he can keep one on file and distribute the rest to other principals in the area.

I walked out of the school on a complete high. I was so happy that I was even considered as a potential candidate for any teaching position. I was even shocked that the principal saw me as good teacher material (or even saw me at all for that matter). For those who aren’t teachers, principals are the ultimate celebrities in the teaching world. When the economy is this terrible and you are hopelessly looking for a teaching job, when you meet a school principal, your mind is boggled, your voice stammers, and you try telling them how much you admire their work in hopes that they would remember you in the end. At our restaurant we have three other teachers who work full time as servers since they haven’t been able to find a job in the last couple of years. That’s how bad it is! I remember this one time as I was working at the restaurant; a principal from a top-notch elementary school came in for dinner. One of the servers/teachers informed us that she was in our presence and we excitedly hid near her table and stared. As we completely ignored our tables, we gushed about the principal, the possibility of meeting her, and the miraculous but highly unlikely chance of her requesting us to interview for a position at her school.

One of the servers/teachers actually talked to the principal and asked her about the job situation at her school. The principal rudely responded by saying, “There won’t be any hiring in [this city] for the next 10 years.” Great! Funny enough, soon after this event, the same principal ended up desperately needing teachers for the following school year. She even called my university to ask for contact information of our teaching candidates (specifically requesting male teachers). By the way, if you are male and have a good head on your shoulders, you are in as a teacher! All us girls were annoyed (and of course happy for his good fortune) that one of our peers received an interview without having to reach out to the school. We all bluntly exclaimed that we were going to get a sex change in order to get a job in this economy (something I heard can be done pretty easily in Thailand ;).

After my visit to my favorite elementary school, I brought my resume and cover letter to the principal the following week. He asked me to continue checking back with him every week to get an update on the hiring process. He even told me that the open positions were 2^nd grade! My favorite to teach! So every week, I meticulously checked back with him. And each week, I received the same troubling news: “Human resources is still going through the list of laid off teachers first”, or “I don’t have any updates for you at the moment.” It was okay though. Calling the principal in hopes of getting my dream job was the highlight of my last quarter teaching--I wasn’t the biggest fan of my current teaching placement. However, those 2^nd grade positions were eventually filled up by some of the district’s previously laid off teachers.

By July, I contacted the principal again to get another update. He informed me that there weren’t any hopes for new teachers in this district and many others. He also told me that he wasn’t going to be the principal of the school anymore since he was promoted to a pretty reputable director position in the district. This was a plus since he essentially became my eyes for all the elementary schools as he told me he would let me know of any job openings in subsequent years. But at this point, I had given up my hopes of being a teacher this upcoming school year.

Present Time: September 2011

I completely stopped looking for a teaching job by July. Instead I made a decision to travel the world—or just Thailand. It took a lot of time, effort, and frustration preparing for this trip. I aggravated my parents, paid a non-refundable deposit, learned the Thai language (or at least learned hello in Thai—Sawasdee Ka and bought Thai phrasebooks and dictionaries), ate a ton of spicy food (and endured a lot of stomach aches), and of course the agony I’ve put myself through creating this blog. But in all seriousness, I have mentally and financially prepared for this trip.

After receiving the email from my former mentor teacher, I was in such disbelief, I cried. I cried because of all the stress I went through and effort I put in even trying to get an interview anywhere. Then after putting this dream on hold, I put a lot of myself (and stress) into this trip. I was very excited for Thailand and most of everything was prepared already. And I couldn’t believe that this opportunity was coming at this time--after I booked my trip. I called the former principal and asked him about what he knows of the situation. He explained to me that they decided to hire three kindergarten teachers this year. But after the first week of school, they realized with the huge influx of kindergarteners, they needed just one more teacher. The current principal of the school approached him and my former mentor teacher, both whom recommended me as a qualified candidate. At the time, I was one of a few the principal was considering for the position. So I had a choice to go through with the interview or decline this job opportunity to continue preparing for my trip.

To many, this would be an easy decision--just take the U.S. teaching job. I know most of my credential mates would have killed me if they knew that I was having a hard time choosing. I was afraid to tell my mom since she would have rigorously pressured me into taking the teaching job, in hopes that I would never set foot in Thailand. I decided to take the weekend to think everything over. This was an example of my thought process:

Reasons for taking/not taking the U.S. job—

                        Pros

• The only opportunity I may have for a while.
• It's a great school with a great staff.
• If I came back from my trip, I will be as stressed and sad as I was in the beginning of summer (back to square one...)
• It's a job!!

  

                        Cons

• It is already 2-3 weeks into school (losing all those weeks is a big deal for in kindergarten, especially as a new teacher)
• Teaching kindergarten is not my forté
• I will be settled into a job very early on and won't be able to travel/live in another country
• I will lose a lot of money from my already planned trip

This decision reminds me of this time when I couldn’t decide which flask to buy. One flask had a detailed map of the world and the other had cute teacher apples. In this case, I chose the apples, mainly thinking that it would be ironic for a teacher to carry around a flask, representing a profession that is responsible and alcohol and drug-free. Let’s be honest, teachers may need it the most. Though I don’t want you to worry, Mom and Dad. I’m not an excessive drinker. Just like you taught me, I’m trying to be frugal. I just use the flask to sneak alcohol into bars and clubs so I don’t have to pay for their overpriced drinks.

Over the weekend, though I didn’t explicitly say, I was leaning more towards Thailand. But I decided that I wasn’t going to make the final decision until the principal actually contacted me about the job. It was my way to de-stress and not have to think about this dilemma anymore.

On Monday, I received an email from the current principal. Her email stated that she heard a lot about me and she thought I would be a great candidate for the teaching position. She asked me to apply so I can get started with the interviews. After thinking it over at work, I realized how excited I was to be a kindergarten teacher. I wanted to take the job opportunity! I rushed home after work and applied for the position. I was so nervous and excited while typing out my application; I could barely keep my fingers on the computer keys. After I sent my application, I spent the rest of the night practicing for my interview and brushing up on my kindergarten knowledge.

I was trying to imagine what my kindergarten classroom would look like. I was thinking a jungle theme possibly. I could have a cute behavior rule be: No Monkey Business, and monkey-themed reinforcement system in which students move their velcro bananas up and down a monkey tree depending on their behavior. I was thinking about some “get to know you” activities that involved the kids creating newspaper articles about themselves and writing stories about their life, family, and interests. Maybe they can also give a presen...But then I remembered…kindergarteners couldn’t write stories yet. I realized how inexperienced I was with that particular age group since 2^nd grade was the youngest I’ve taught in the past. I started to get nervous about the interview and the prospective job. But I convinced myself everything would be fine and I assumed that I would have a lot of resources at hand and fellow teachers helping me out.

The next day (Tuesday), I waited for a call from the principal. With no call by the end of the day, I started to think that maybe it wasn’t the path for me. Even if they were to contact me for an interview within the next couple days, it was getting pretty close to the time I had to put down money for the Thailand trip. I had to get vaccinated on Wednesday. I had to pay for my non-refundable plane ticket and the $600 vaccine on Thursday. And I needed to pay the rest of my program deposit by the end of the week. So if interviews were at the end of the week, I would have to cancel these time-sensitive appointments if I wanted to go through with the interview and take the job. And then I would have to cancel my trip altogether. So I had to choose, Thailand or the job here.

The principal called me Wednesday afternoon. When I answered the phone, I was surprised and a bit feverish from being poked and prodded all day (for clarification, with vaccines and a large wart removal gun). She told me that she wanted to interview me on Friday. I wasn’t as clear-headed when talking to her and I think I might have stammered, “ Uhhh…Thailand…coming up…uhhh….I need to put down a lot of money…I will lose money…ummmm…This is such a hard decision…ahhh…I don’t know what to do…the interview long? I sounded like a deranged caveman woken up early from hibernation. I was so embarrassed. She let me know that that a few others were interviewing as well, some of which who have worked in the district before. I asked her if I could call her back within the hour to give her my decision. Still not comprehending my dilemma (since I was uberly unclear), she was probably thinking, “Wow, she even has to make a decision!

I knew my decision already. But it was hard for me to say it out loud. I was told I had a chance of getting the job and I feel as if I am a very proficient and memorable interviewee. But there was still uncertainty and I could very easily not get the job as well. If I canceled all the payments I had to make this week, went for the job, and didn’t get the job, I would lose both Thailand and the job and would have to continue serving for the next year of my life. I didn’t want to be left with nothing.

I also started thinking, “Do I want to start off my first year stressed and behind?” Since I would be starting off three weeks late, I feel like I would be catching up all year. And though beggars can’t be choosers, I still wasn’t as comfortable with kindergarten yet. This job didn’t seem right for me at this time. And on the other hand, Thailand felt safe yet exciting. My trip was already planned and I already had my job in Thailand. I wouldn’t have this kind of opportunity later when I have additional commitments like a family or full-time job. Plus, I plan to visit almost 10 countries within the year. That’s exciting!

I called the principal back after an hour. This time I wrote myself a script, just in case I fumbled over my words again. I thanked her for the amazing opportunity and even told her that I thought I was crazy not taking it. But I explained why my circumstances make this decision rather difficult. I told her about the TESOL certificate and Thai teaching job, the money that was due this week, and the planning and money already invested in my trip. She was so intrigued by my story that she asked me to contact her right when I get back so she can meet with me and try to see what she could do for me next year. This was better than I hoped! Being able to do my traveling but come back with hopes that I may have another job opportunity in the future. Later, we planned to meet in the next month so that I can get to know her and she can hear a little bit more of my story.

I thanked her for her consideration and hung up. Then I cried. I didn’t know why I was crying at first. But I realized I just gave up a big opportunity, one that I worked so hard for in the last year and a half of my teaching program. One opportunity that most of my graduating class did not receive. I knew I made the right decision but it was very hard to let this other one go. And when I did, I did feel relief. A large weight was lifted off my shoulders and now I can continue planning my adventure across seas.

Just my luck, huh?

Hiyah! Defend Yourself!

September 6th, 2011

My parents are not too enthusiastic about my trip abroad since they are both scared for my safety. My mom is especially scared for me. She thinks that I might be kidnapped or murdered. Another fear they have is that I may fall in love with the country so much that I’ll never come back again. Coincidentally, my mom took a similar path when she was my age. I always saw my mom as the black sheep of her family ever since hearing her story. But really she is the bravest of all of them. In a conservative Taiwanese family and being the youngest girl, she was treated like the runt of the siblings.

Her father was particularly hard on her. I even heard he had a list, called The List of My Biggest Disappointments. The first and only thing on that list was my mom’s defying action: Moving to the U.S. After graduating from college, my mom picked up her life in Taiwan and traveled to the United States all by herself. Despite the severe ramifications placed upon her by her family, she received her MBA, bought her own condominium, and had a stable and lucrative job as an accountant before the age 25. It was through work how she met my dad. Hmm, work relationships. We all know how that goes sometimes. She dated my dad for over a year before they got married. This was another point on my grandfather’s disappointment list: Married a White Guy. At one point, my mom joked that when her sister got a divorce she felt a small sense of relief. Finally she didn’t feel alone, since she now shared a spot on that list with her sister. I don’t think I was supposed to divulge that information. Sorry Mom…

Despite her obsessive paranoia of everything imaginable, my mom is actually very courageous. To even go against her family’s wishes and make these significant decisions on her own is difficult at such a young age. I think her independence and perseverance are valued characteristics she possesses, one that her family members probably don’t embody as well. I feel like my mom in this way. I feel independent and strong. Though going against my parents’ initial wishes, I am making decisions and financing my trip on my own (except for the silly Japanese Encephalitis vaccine). And I know my parents do support me to an extent.

Now after that reflective and sentimental tangent, one of the ways to prevent my parents from having a heart attack is to learn to defend myself—one of the many ways I can be independent. My dad was the one that brought up the idea of self-defense. I thought it was a great idea. It was something I have always been interested in trying out. So I went online and tried to find a somewhat cheap place to learn self-defense in Orange County. I quickly learn about the self-defense fighting system, Krav Maga. Their class schedule and price seemed very reasonable for my expectations. I only planned to take self-defense classes for about a month and they offered an inexpensive plan that allowed me to take 5 classes within a month. But despite my whole independent revelation, I did want company for this class. So I asked my good friend Lacey to join me.

We both arrived to our first class. Surprisingly we found out that this first class would be the free trial run. Score! 6 classes for the price of 5! After signing a waiver release form, we walked into the gym area to start stretching. When observing the gym, we noticed that most of the fighters were large, hefty men, some of which who were intensely destroying the surrounding punching bags and making savage grunting noises that echoed within the small room reeking of sweat and probably blood.

The instructor came into the gym and asked us all to line up on the back wall. There was a mirror right across from us so we were able to observe our fierce fighting techniques and observe how small we were in comparison to most of the other fighters. Of course, not only did Lacey and I stand out because of our seemingly muscular and powerfully built figures but mostly because we were wearing bright neon blue outfits. Everyone else was in black or grey.

After the initial warm up and stretch, the instructor asked us to run around and hit each other in the head and stomach. Lacey and I had no idea what to do. While giggling most of the time, we ran around trying to follow his instructions. I was continuously getting hit in the head, both failing to defend myself and attack others. One very aggressive and much bigger woman kept punching me in the stomach. Lacey was more aggressive than I. But she was more focused on her offense than her defense. The burly woman came up to her and repeatedly smacked her in the stomach and head while screaming, “Defend yourself! Defend yourself!” This woman also made some very interesting grunting noises throughout the class (those of which I shall not attempt to type out). At this point, we both felt incompetent and undersized for this class.

Next, we participated in a partner activity that required us to take turns choking each other. A good way to blow off some steam, right? While one partner choked the other, the other partner used a quick approach to get out of the choke hold. Krav Maga calls one of the defending techniques, the Monkey Grip. This grip is when you put your hands up near your head (as if you are a monkey climbing a fence maybe) and quickly sweep downwards towards the attacker’s thumbs (the weakest part of their hold) to remove their hands from your body. They also emphasized the importance of being quick rather than strong. This is definitely my forté—being quick. I am actually widely known for my quick reactions. Though this may be more of a self-acclaimed notion, my quickness has always gotten me out of sticky situations. Don’t worry; I’ve never used these powers for evil. For example, people always laugh when I tell them I play volleyball. They usually state, “But don’t you have to be tall to play.” And I respond by informing them about my Ninja quickness and then also remind them that I’m Asian (enough said, right?). Additionally, I had a science professor become completely astonished when I performed in his study on human reaction times. I completely surpassed all his recent studies and I even surprised myself.

Regardless of my distinguished quickness and Lacey’s aggressiveness, Lacey and I were not good at choking others. We were very prissy when choking one another since we were afraid of hurting each other. We thought we were doing such a great job getting out of choke holds until the instructor came by and showed us how it’s really done. Without warning, he quickly wrapped his hands around my neck and started squeezing tightly. My body went into shock as he pressed his thumbs into my windpipe and began to push my body backwards. Without thinking (or actually with thinking my life was in danger), I put up my Monkey Grip and tore his hands away from my neck as quickly as possible. With my initial success and light-headed state of mind, I eagerly pointed to Lacey and exclaimed, “Choke Lacey! Choke Lacey!” realizing how effective your technique becomes when someone is really choking you. Practicing with Lacey probably wasn’t as beneficial since I don’t think there will be too many Lacey’s out there attacking me in Thailand.

After the free trial, Lacey and I enjoyed our experience with Krav Maga so much that we signed up for the month. Just within one class, we had gathered some good defensive techniques and very red and swollen necks.  Next week, we went through some of the same activities--except we both were more aggressive and confident. While attacking each other (or attacking the pads we were holding), we both had different scripts to help motivate each other. As I would aggress Lacey, I would bring back those vivid and gloomy memories of her beloved deceased fish, Lucky. As I attacked her I would scream, “How did it feel when Lucky died? I killed Lucky! What are you going to do now?!?” After provoking her more vulnerable and sensitive side, she would knee or kick me as hard as she could in the groin (or the pad I was holding in that place). And then with me, she would yell, “I am a Thai rapist and I’m going to get you!” And again, I would furiously kick her in the groin or pad—whatever was most accessible.

Knowing that our prissy attacks on each other weren’t as effective, we switched to male partners at times. Unfortunately, they sweat a lot more than we did (since we glisten…right Lacey?) and the idea of showering has never been as appealing. And showering has never really been my strong suit.

After just couple classes, Lacey and I are becoming pro-defenders and even proficient attackers. We have even attempted practicing our moves at home, which haven’t been the best of ideas. Foolishly, we have been so excited about our new set of skills that we have been announcing to everyone to choke us even in the more professional setting (while working at our restaurant) or the more dangerous setting (at a party when people are drinking excessively). Don’t try this at home.

Viruses Galore

August 29th, 2011

The process of getting vaccinated has been the most frustrating and stressful check on my to do list so far. It first started off with figuring out which vaccines I needed for the trip. For Thailand, the CDC recommends the Typhoid, Hepatitis A and B, and the Japanese Encephalitis vaccines. Travelers should also be up to date with all the routine vaccines like measles, mumps, and Tetanus.

The problem was that I didn’t know which vaccines I had gotten in the past. Aimlessly getting all the shots would be silly since these vaccines can get pretty expensive when added up. I was also on a bit of a time crunch since a few of these vaccines were a series of shots that required at least a month in between. And I only have 2 months left.

I called my former pediatrician to try to get my vaccination records. But they couldn’t find my results because apparently they discard medical records that are over 10 years old. I called another one of my pediatricians who told me that my vaccination records were never turned in to them.

Next, I called my university’s health center. I was confident that they would have my records since all colleges require vaccinations before attending college—since college kids are pretty nasty these days, right? A nurse told me that my vaccination records (and all other medical records) were not available since they accidentally slipped through the cracks of their system. I guess I came in at the perfect time—a time in which the health center was switching from a paper system to an electronic system. My paper record was never transferred over to the new system and was discarded as a result.

Let me point out, I cry a lot. I am uber sensitive and get frustrated very easily. This process of trying to find out which vaccinations I needed was stressful. So consequently, I cried.

I called both of my high schools to obtain my records but they explained that after two years of graduating, they dispose of any student medical records. Then, I was able to reach my elementary school and they were able to scan my results. So Polio, Measles, Meningitis, Hepatitis B, Rubella, check! The only problem is that the most recent date of my vaccinations on this document was 1995. So any records of vaccinations received after the year 1995 has been lost. I was somewhat pleased with the situation but I most likely cried as well.

By using the process of elimination, I assumed I needed the Hepatitis A and Typhoid vaccines. I decided not to get the Japanese Encephalitis vaccine. When talking to an alumnus who went through the program last year, she told me that she decided to risk it and not get the vaccine because of the cost and the time required for the shot. I figured I’ve never heard of the virus before so I was confident I wouldn’t get it.

I made an appointment with a local doctor to get these two vaccinations and a standard physical. During the appointment, I waited an hour before the doctor came in and told me that I needed to get the Hepatitis A and Typhoid vaccines. She even wrote it down on a piece of computer paper and gave it to me—like I didn’t know already! Then she told me to have a good day, without any of the vaccines or the physical. I asked her if I can get my physical and she explained that since our appointment lasted too long, there wasn’t enough time for it. I walked out of the office so confused and then angry. I was going to be charged the co-pay and a lot of money for information I already found out myself. I called the office back and asked what I was going to be charged for. They told me that I was going to be charged for the co-pay (because I took up the doctor’s time), a facility fee (because I stepped on their scale and they used a pencil to write down my weight and since I sat on the cheap paper bed covering), and for counseling (because she told me about the vaccines I already knew I needed to get). I shared my concerns about the fees (especially the counseling fee...pshh, that wasn't counseling!) to my insurance company and they took care of it—I think. I was glad they didn’t charge me for the physical since those exams can be expensive! But even so because of the exhaustion, I cried again. Then I had to go to work. What a mess!

I found out from another doctor (and my own acclaimed research) more about the Japanese Encephalitis virus. The Japanese Encephalitis virus is spread through mosquitoes (who absolutely love me). It is an incurable virus that swells the brain and if contracted you have a 30% chance of surviving. If you do survive, all you’ll have is moderate to severe brain damage—that’s all! And they recommend it to travelers planning on staying for more than 30 days (check ✓) and living in a rural town (check ✓). The simple decision would be to just get the vaccine, right? But it’s 600 dollars! It was definitely way over my budget and I didn’t know what to do.

I unfortunately had to do the inevitable. I called my parents. This was the last thing I wanted to do especially since my mom was still upset with me leaving and still believed I was going to ask her to fund my trip. I tried to find a clever way of bringing up this financial drawback. This is how the conversation with my mom went:

Me (stating at very rapid pace): So there is this virus, which is transmitted by mosquitoes, who, by the way, love biting me, and it’s a virus that swells the brain. A lot of people die from this virus and if they don’t they usually have pretty severe brain damage or slip into a coma. Oh yea, it’s also incurable. But I probably won’t get the vaccine.

Mom: Umm...why not?!?

Me: It’s too expensive.

Mom: How much is it?

Me: 600 dollars.

Mom: …dial tone...

Big mistake! Despite my disrespectful and thoughtless idea to manipulate my mom, I was very nervous about the virus and did desperately needed help to pay for the vaccine. I told some of my co-workers and they suggested a mini-fundraiser at our restaurant (I’m assuming as a joke). If the makeshift fundraiser to help bring a former employee back across borders didn’t work as well, I doubt my pathetic plea for vaccination money would sustain as anything.

Eventually, my parents ended up helping me out with the Japanese vaccination money. I am very grateful for their support. Now I feel more comfortable about my personal and health safety in Thailand…I guess except for the Thai rapists, traffickers, muggers, lady-men (which I may be a target for since I look and dress like a 12 year old boy according to my friend Chris). So to avoid any other safety issues and hopefully build myself more of a backbone--next step self-defense classes!

Fast forward: Sept 16^th, 2011

I finally got my vaccinations! First, I had to get Hepatitis A, Typhoid, and Tdap all in one day. After calling several travel clinics, the Orange County public health office definitely had the cheapest prices. They were also very nice. I received food to replenish my virus-afflicted system, an informative packet about the vaccines, and a free shot (Tdap) because I’m a teacher. The Tdap vaccine hurt especially. I couldn’t move my left arm for a couple of days.

The next day, I got the Japanese Encephalitis vaccine. Finding a clinic that had the vaccine but also provided it for an inexpensive price was rather difficult. I called over 20 clinics in both Orange County and LA County to find out their vaccine price. Most places charged a hefty office fee as well. After mulling it over for a while, I found a great place called Eddie’s Pharmacy in LA. They charged me a standard office fee and the cheapest vaccination price I found. My visit also included an extensive and intensive tutorial in traveling to Thailand by a very helpful and receptive pharmacist. Their office was just a bit out of my way. So I decided to spend a fun filled day in LA with one of my friends. On a less positive note, my day also included several hours of traffic and getting incredibly lost in the ghetto of LA. I tried to be optimistic during my extremely long and frustrating drive. I tried recognizing the more positive aspects of my drive like involuntarily exploring Filipino town and the exuberant proposition I received from a very muscular drag queen.

At the appointment, the pharmacist gave me a lot of enlightening information about all the viruses and bacteria I will be encountering. She also let me know about the day to day diarrhea and mosquito issues and remedies I am even more afraid of encountering. Then, she gave me the painful and most expensive shot I’ve ever gotten and will ever get.

Within 2 days, I was sore from an 8-mile hike, had 4 viruses injected into my arms, and had 6 warts burnt off my body (I swear, it's not what you think). My body has been taking a terrible beating. I felt awful and disease-ridden. I couldn’t move my arms and my face and hands looked slightly mangled (mostly my face). I looked especially silly at work as I hobbled over to my tables, unsteadily carrying their ice teas and Pepsi drinks. One of my tables was wondering why I was having such trouble distributing their drinks. I thoughtlessly replied, “Oh, I just got several vaccinations," as I looked feverish and in pain. They all looked at me with disgust (as I am the one serving them their food and drinks). After realizing my mistake, I reassured them by stating, “Oh don’t worry, I don’t have a disease or anything. I just had to get vaccinated for my trip to Thailand.”  They showed signs of relief and nervously laughed off my somewhat comforting response. Unfortunately, I have had even more awkward serving situations than this one. I usually tell my customers good job as a response to them liking their meal or I try to reassure them that I’m not creepy when caught staring relentlessly at their food.

Nevertheless, I am now vaccinated! And I didn’t even cry.

Booked My Trip!

August 16th, 2011

I have always wanted to travel to Thailand. But I knew that in order to live somewhere and be able to embrace the culture entirely, I would need some money. Though Thailand is known for its inexpensive living standards, it was still crucial for me to be able to financially support myself during the trip and ideally be able to save a little along the way. So I planned to find a paid teaching job for the duration of my trip. Nevertheless, money wasn’t a big factor or a significant motivator. I mainly wanted the teaching experience. I figured since I am taking another year off of school, I should probably build up my experience in the field I presumably would want in the future. Especially after spending tens of thousands of dollars, costing myself a year and a half of sleep, and causing my immune system to deteriorate because of all the diseased kids I encountered, it might be a smart idea to continue to invest my money and time in this same direction.

I first started searching online for teaching programs that would help get me a job in Thailand. I found that a lot of these programs required you to have a TEFL or TESOL certificate in order to be able to teach English as a second language. This certificate is very expensive to get but it can help you gain that extra boost against rival teachers when applying for jobs. I found a couple TESOL programs that would train and certify me with this certificate while accommodating my stay and a teaching job in Thailand. I picked the American TESOL Institute not only because it provided accommodations and a paying job, but because it had good reviews and alumni video feedback. The training program starts in November and my teaching contract goes from November and ends in March. Unfortunately, this timeline completely disrupts my potential to be a world traveler this year. Before I planned to travel to Brazil, Japan, and Taiwan, along with the Thailand trip. Oh well.

It was tough pitching the idea to my parents. My dad was skeptical about the country’s security because of recent religious discord between Buddhist and Islamic extremists. My mom thought I was going to rob her of her money in order to fund my trip (which was never my intention). But most of all, both my parents were scared for my well-being. My dad persuaded me to take self-defense classes. He also emailed me some funny 'what to do' scenarios he came up with. Sorry dad:

1st Example: you are going to be robbed by someone with a knife. 1) Take the sacrifice money out quickly (a few bills). 2) Drop some on the ground right away by the attacker. 3) He'll be surprised, take advantage! 4) YELL and break the hold and run towards crowd or store. 5) Drop some more as you run until you are safe.

2nd Example: you are getting robbed by 2 people on opposite sides, blocking your escape. Grab sacrifice money in two hands and throw money at both attackers. Run between them.

3rd Example: Make your money a weapon. 1) Fold the money around a razor blade, tape it to the money inside, leave the blade exposed 1/4 inch but hidden by outside layer. 2) When you get attacked, hold the folded money, pretend to put in attacker's hands. 3) Slash the open hand! Attacker will draw his hands toward his body in pain and surprise. 4) Keep your weapon and RUN but prepare to use it again. 5) YELL!

Better to not look weak. Even wear a belt with a knife holster (without the knife, the attacker will wonder: "What hand is holding the knife?")

The image of throwing money at my attackers (though it may be effective--I don’t know yet) seems kind of funny when picturing it. It would be even funnier to wear a knife holster around on a daily basis. I would look like a gangster in my small rural town. No one would want befriend me either because I’m intimidating or weird-looking. Thanks for looking out for me Dad!

My mom is especially nervous about this trip. After denying that I was even going on the trip and not speaking to me for a while, she tried to convince me to go teach English in a safer country. I rudely joked around with her by saying, “ So you want me to teach English in a safe country like Canada or England? Oh, that would be productive!” By the way, Thailand is considered a “some risk” country according to the travel warnings devised by the U.S. Department of State. This is the lowest level a country can be and the United States and Canada are countries placed on this same level. But she is still convinced that I will be killed, kidnapped, or will love the country so much I would never come back again. I have tried to convince her that I will be fine traveling alone by providing resources and relaying my own knowledge of the country. I accidentally let it slip that Hangover II was based in Bangkok and now my mom is convinced that I will be bargained for money, my finger will be severed off, or I will be kidnapped by pirates or an underground mob. Well fortunately, if teaching doesn’t work out in Thailand, I heard their human trafficking business is pretty top-notch. Just kidding!

For this particular program, there was only one more spot left for the TESOL training in Bangkok and I had to put a lot of money down to reserve it. After a couple of long talks with my dad, who gave me in-depth advice about potential regrets and encompassing experiences, I put down my deposit for that last spot. I’m actually an avid online shopper but pressing the submit button for this purchase was more substantial than I’ve experienced. I am used to purchasing books or furniture but I was purchasing the next 6 months of my life and that was major. I think I waited by the computer with my cursor placed on the submit button for over 30 minutes while my patient dad talked me through it the entire time.

Now after booking the trip, I am extremely nervous. At this point, I have probably asked dozens of people to go on the trip with me (some of whom I’ve just met). I am excited about the trip but worried to do it alone. I’m afraid of being lonely and lost in a country I have never been to and don’t know too much about. I am also scared for my safety. After hearing about the political unrest and the multiple bombings at public protests, I am afraid to get caught up in the wrong crowd or a particularly dangerous place. When serving at my restaurant, I had a conversation with a guest who lived in Thailand for a couple of months. She told me to watch the movie The Beach because it would tell me all I need to know about Thailand. Big Mistake! Now, I am afraid of getting brutally killed by Thailand’s drug and marijuana cartel, eaten alive by sharks, and forced to drink blood as my initiation into the Thai culture. Do not watch The Beach when planning to travel to Thailand!

But this fear (hopefully!) will help challenge me to the fullest. Exploring the country alone will only make my experience an actual experience.

Giving Up For New Direction

August 1st

I am a stress ball. I've tried so hard not to be but when I have weak moments, I can't get myself together. A couple of years ago, I had a lot of difficult situations I had to encounter making me both very sad and high-strung. This wasn't the life I wanted. So I made the ultimate plan: I was going to become a hippie. I know, its the anti-hippie thing to do: plan. Anyways, I tried to embody the spirit of a hippie by changing my physical appearance. Yes--growing out my hair EVERYWHERE, using natural deodorant and showering less, and attempting to make my own clothes and jewelry by hand. I even picked up painting as a hobby, which I ended up eventually loving.

A important reason why I went through this hippie phase is because of the amount of burdens I was taking on at the time. I was having a hard time dealing with a breakup, family problems, and felt incredibly lost and lonely in my life. I wanted to change my outlook and my surroundings. This included taking on the hippie spirit and eliminating selfish friends and inanimate and destructive things in my life. But even these things didn't solve my issues and didn't made me feel better. So I challenged myself and took an adventurous and spontaneous trip to Taiwan.

In Taiwan, I experienced so many challenging and wonderful events. I was able to live and work with the aboriginals of the Paiwan tribe and attend a Paiwan wedding in traditional garments. I was a caretaker and English teacher to students in a special needs facility. The students at the school were amazing and I learned so much about myself and about life from them. I also learned the language quickly and well enough to be able to communicate with the community members. My work was even published in newspapers and video taped for television as they thought it was so strange that a supposed "white" girl was volunteering at a special needs organization. Lastly, I received at least three boba milk teas a day. My favorite!

I also faced some challenges along the way. There wasn't anyone who spoke English in the community so I was pretty much silent for awhile. I ended up making up my own sign language using gestures and my facial expressions to communicate whether or not I wanted bread or goat milk in the morning. By the way, I drank goat milk everyday for my entire trip. I filtered the milk myself through a makeshift strainer. It made me strongly dislike the smell, taste, and look of all types of goat products for years after.  Most of all, it was challenging because I was lonely.

Throughout this experience, I was able to become the hippie I always wanted to be. I rarely took showers (mainly since once you stepped out of the shower, the humidity made you dirtier and sweatier than you were before showering). I cultivated my own food. Since the facility wasn't as financially stable, they had a farm in which we essentially ate from. And I was able to gain a sense of peace in my life. I had so many lonely and quiet moments during the trip that I had time to think and reflect. I realized the person I wanted to become and the direction I wanted to take my life. An experience like this was definitely more influential than attempting to make my own hemp jewelry.

These last couple of months have been tough. While finishing up the last of my Master's program, I was confused about not knowing what I was doing after graduating, trying to mend a progressively weakening relationship, and dealing with my confidence and beliefs in my adequacy as a teacher. I was applying to dozens and dozens of schools, visiting school districts in LA and pestering all the superintendents and human resources personnel, and emailing all the public and charter elementary school principals in LA and Orange County with a pathetic "I can do it!" story and attached resume and cover letter. By the way, I sent out over 100 emails--there's too many to count at this point. I was tired. I was practically crying and moaning every day--I wonder why my boyfriend thought I was irritating to be around sometimes?

After profusely stressing out about my job situation along with other issues, I decided to stop all together. I am not looking for a teaching job in the U.S. anymore. I gave up! But I gave up for an even better purpose. Instead I am traveling to Thailand to teach English to elementary school kids. Since making these plans, I have felt happier and have gained a sense of accomplishment for my forthcoming year. As a full time teacher, when do you have the time to travel for 6 months straight? I guess you may have time if laid off but once your foot is in the door, there is less motivation to leave the country.
I know I was meant to travel. This trip may help me understand my direction, build up my knowledge and experience, while giving the adventure of a lifetime. And at the least, it beats working at a restaurant.