Welcome to the Kingdom

December 30, 2011

This was it. The travel adventure I’ve been waiting for, the required country run. My tourist visa was about to expire since I was only allowed 60 days in Thailand. If I didn’t leave the country, I would get fined daily and then eventually kicked out. But I don’t mind having to travel to another country. I miss some teaching days but I actually still get paid while I’m gone. My school has to support the visa run if they want to keep me as an employee. It’s just part of the system.

As a brief reminder, a visa run is the process of crossing the border of a country into another country in order to obtain a new visa. Once your visa has expired in the country in which you are visiting or working, you travel to another country, apply for a new visa at the nearest embassy, and pick up a new visa. This allows you to stay in the previous country for a longer duration. I needed a non-immigrant B visa in order to legally work in Thailand. And since my time was up in Thailand, I have to leave for another country to apply for my new visa. Before leaving, I asked my supervisor for the documents required for a visa application. She gave me a single piece of paper that had some Thai inscriptions, my name, and my major. It was supposedly a document that proved that I was an employee at the school. It appeared unofficial and unconventional but she convinced me that it was the right paperwork. So I assumed I didn’t need a working permit or anything more official. 

I am going to Cambodia! I’ve actually learned a lot about Cambodia’s history and culture during my studies. Since, I’ve always been interested to visit this recently devastated but progressing country. I strategically picked a weekend that is followed with a holiday, giving me a couple more days off of school and more days of traveling. Starting my trip the weekend before New Year’s would give me almost a week in Cambodia. My friend Bobby was going to keep me company on this trip. Though his school couldn’t provide him the correct visa documents in time, he needed to leave the country anyways since his current visa was about to expire. What a great opportunity to travel! So with my documents, passport, and this ‘official’ statement of my employment, we were ready for an adventure.

It’s 3 in the morning. I didn’t sleep at all since it hurts too much to wake up with such little sleep. My eyes were bloodshot and I felt almost whimsical and delirious without rest. But I was taking a long bus ride to Cambodia so I figured I would be able to gain some sleep then. Cambodia was far. It takes about five hours to get to border and another couple of hours to get to a somewhat populated city. We planned to visit Siem Reap for the first couple days of our trip. In Siem Reap, we can visit some of the ancient ruins in this old city and enjoy New Years in this tourist-centered town. Then, we planned to travel to Phnom Penh to explore the capital city and apply for my visa. But in order to actually get to some of these cities, it takes a long time and multiple modes of transportation. So in the complete dark of the early morning, we took a cab to the Northern Bus Terminal, Mo Chit, and the bus transported us to the Aranyaprathet/Poipet border city.

It was the longest, most uncomfortable bus ride. It was cold, loud, bumpy, crowded, and long. The overzealous driver would honk his horn sporadically throughout the early morning drive, disregarding the fact that it was five in the morning. The bus’s air conditioning was turned all the way up and each vent was locked in place so there wasn’t an option of blocking the cold air. Because it is very warm and humid in most Southeast Asian countries, I didn’t think to bring any warm clothes. So I felt it all—the sharp sting of the bitter cold blowing relentlessly on my bare uncovered skin. Don’t worry, I wasn’t fully naked. Additionally, the driver would stop the bus and pick up passengers along the way. Actually, I wouldn’t call it a stop but rather a dreadful composition of tentative taps and forceful slams on the brake. These passengers would stand up and squeeze their bodies in between my legs and the seat ahead in an attempt to make more room for those who were pressed into the bus like sardines. It wasn’t a smooth ride by all means.

Walking the Border. I was nervous. I’ve heard horror stories about how much trouble the Khmer or Cambodian border patrol gives foreigners. I’ve heard they will deny you access, led you in the wrong directions, try to trick you into buying a fake visa, or charge you a hefty fee for an on-arrival visa. Right when the bus dropped us off at the border, several men immediately jumped us, rattling off misleading comments like, “They won’t let you in”, “You don’t have the right paperwork”, or  “You need to buy a visa from us.” We ignored them. We were warned about these guys so we knew better. I felt pretty smug recognizing and rejecting their ploy. They target the foreigners, making them anxious enough to believe they might actually need an additional visa to cross. 

As we progressed towards the border, we entered a region of limbo. A region that wasn’t Thailand or Cambodia. Weird. Once crossing this zone, we needed to be screened for health concerns. It was a substandard medical screening that was literally a sheet of paper asking if you were sick or not. Just a check mark in the ‘no’ column ensured your crossing over the border. No real screening or evaluation. Next, we had to apply for our on-arrival visa for Cambodia. With a simple application, passport photo, passport, and a fee off 800 ฿, we were allowed into the country. Luckily, we didn’t seem to approach any problems at all. I felt relieved and excited that I made it through without a traumatic encounter. 

Welcome to the Kingdom. We crossed into the country officially. Cambodia. It is amazing that I get to see it in actuality. This underdeveloped but rapidly modernizing country is right at my fingertips and I was ready to explore as much as I can. Though, we weren’t quite to our destination yet. Siem Reap was a two hour cab ride away. It actually used to be about six hours before the roads were paved not long ago. After taking a free shuttle bus to a taxi station, we rode in the world’s hottest cab for two hours without air. Despite the heavy perspiration, it was fascinating observing small rural villages on stilts along semi-paved roads and pastoral fields stretching for miles. But it was hot. It might have been a good thing though. The blazing sun and the lack of air caused me to pass out (and maybe faint possibly), making the car ride seemingly short. 

Siam Reap. The tourist town of Siem Reap has been a prime location for temple hopping travelers. This city is located right next to some of the most wretchedly beautiful ancient ruins and temples of the Southeast Asian kingdom. With some French influence and traditional village setting, the small town is wonderful place to roam and explore, to shop for intricate gifts, and to observe cultural dance and attire.

 

Most Charming Guesthouse. Along a small pebbled street, we found a hostel called Bun Kao Guesthouse. It was the most delightful, small abode run by a Khmer family, completely full of smiles and friendly manner. For about $6, the room was pretty spectacular. It had a hot shower, a television set that was never used, air conditioning and a fan, and best of all, a crocodile farm as the view. Not necessarily the winning feature for me but it was fun to watch them scurry around and jump into their dirty pool of mildew. I mean, who has a crocodile farm as their view? Not too many people I presume. Also, that farm had a more dark intent since Cambodia is known for making an abundant supply of crocodile leather. 

My favorite part of the guesthouse was the hammocks though. I knew I was going to be cooped up in one of those—relaxing, enjoying the scenery, and reading my new ‘Sex Slaves’ book for hours on end. Yes, I am now learning about the sex industry of Asia. There is pretty profound information from this book. I’ve already learned so much. Bobby and I rented bikes from the guesthouse for the weekend and rode around town. This was probably the cheapest and best method of transportation in the town since it wasn’t big and there was way too much to see to be behind a dull and clouded taxi window.

 

Khmer food. Cambodia and Thailand have crossed tracks numerous times in the past. They have conquered the same land, their royals have shared the thrones of their opposite kingdoms, and they even share some of the same ancient architecture. So, the food isn’t much different. Thai and Khmer food seem very alike. Well, there are differences but the similarities between the cuisines are apparent. The curries, rice, and noodles are similar in taste and ingredients. Dessert and coffee are very popular in Cambodia. Just like Thailand, condensed milk and coconut milk is used frequently in their sweeter dishes. 

Khmer food doesn’t use as much spice and chili as Thailand. So I can’t get my spice fix here unfortunately. Banana leaves were used a lot as food presentation and to house some of the food. Vegetables like potatoes and cauliflower were used as ingredients in their curry and rice dishes. Because Cambodia used to be colonized by the French, you can see how the French has influenced their food. French bread is served with almost every breakfast meal and is served at every food stand. Some Khmer delicacies include crickets and tarantulas. I just got shivers down my spine. Spiders! Disgusting! There doesn’t seem to be as much street food as there is in Thailand. Although, I didn’t really cover much of Cambodia to really judge.

To clarify, Khmer is the proper way to use Cambodia as an adjective. So instead of saying Cambodian people, you would say Khmer people. It is as pronounced ‘kah- mai’ instead of ‘kah-mere’. The pronunciation of ‘kah-mere’ is just popular way Westerners say the word.

Language. I always tend to beat myself up if I don’t know a language well enough to communicate. So even in the first hour of being in the city, I was already trying to wrap my head around the language. I tried asking many native speakers about their language, whether they were waiters or vendors. I would relentlessly practice the only two phrases I learned: suosday (hello) and akun (thank you). Turns out, Americans tend to be very harsh with their tones. I tried learning from a man who told me that when I speak I need to be very soft with my tones and speech. Khmer isn’t as comprehensibly when you enunciate each syllable, oddly enough. That’s good enough for me. I’ll just get by with slurring my words a bit. Since I don’t know how to pronounce the words correctly anyhow, it might sound like I actually know the language. 

Old Market. Surrounded by temples, small rivers, and an abundance of tourist shops, the Old Market is a central location for visitors to get a small taste of Khmer lifestyle—spirituality, tourism, and traditional customs. This town is catered for tourists. Almost every vendor and every shop owner speaks English pretty proficiently. Signs and restaurants accommodate English speaking tourists and Western food-craving taste buds. Most of the town activities were shopping for tourist gifts or city tours and unwinding at restaurants or bars. Riding our bikes around the market was fun. The environment was actually quite beautiful. Though this is a tourist town, there are many locals that live, work, and go to school here. Special moments included watching kids play with their young siblings, men playing an odd form of hacky sack, and the relentless ‘Hey lady!’ you hear from ‘cat calling’ vendors trying to compel you buy their cheap but appealing products.

It's like hacky sack but with an odd looking shuttlecock

Happy Herbs Pizza. For my pot enthusiasts, you will love what I just encountered. A restaurant that sells edibles in the form of pizzas. Upon hearing that there was a pizza parlor that sold “herb” pizzas, I had to check it out. Though marijuana is illegal in Cambodia, there seems to be a very open marijuana culture here, at least in the tourist spots. The pizza parlor, Happy Herbs Pizza, is one of many restaurants that serve their food with the special ingredient of weed. I approached the restaurant, eager to discover the inner workings of a weed based restaurant. I don’t smoke or consume the product but I was completely fascinated by the concept. 

We went up to the restaurant and looked through their displayed menu. I scanned the many dishes looking for something that said herb or anything that indicated weed. But their menu seemed to be discreet in this manner. I started to wonder if this was the right restaurant or if I had mistaken the restaurant concept. A waiter approached me and asked if I was interested in ordering. Trying to be as inconspicuous as possible, I asked him if the pizzas had special herbs in them. He didn’t understand what I was trying to ask. I felt like I was doing something criminal; I was soliciting drugs from a shady drug dealer it seemed. I didn’t want to be too obvious about what I was asking in fear I would look foolish or get in trouble for mistakenly asking a normal restaurant for marijuana.

In a very cheesy and irregular tone, I started asking questions like, “When this pizza says herb pizza, what kind of herbs do you actually use?” “If I wanted a pizza with herbs, can I get it here?” “Are these pizzas really special in any way?” He still didn’t seem to understand my questions. But my assumptions were confirmed as a man eating at the restaurant overheard my conversation and put two big thumbs up, indicating that the pizzas were very special. I headed over to the stranger’s table and asked him more questions about his experience at the restaurant. The restaurant sells your basic pizza (vegetarian, the works, meats) but you can add a special something to it for an alternative experience. For a regular pizza, it costs $12 (a very normal price for restaurant pizzas in the States). For a pizza with weed baked in, it costs $12 as well. No price change for the added ingredient. There are also levels of how special your pizza can be made. You can request that your pizza be made “special”, “very special”, or “very, very special” based on how potent you would like the high to be. They even garnish the pizza with a sprinkle of weed. You can also pick up a large bag of weed for the same price, $12. I don’t know my weed lingo but it was definitely a fistful. 

I was so excited about this bizarre concept that I wanted to take a picture of the pizza making process. I approached some of the waiters and asked if I could take pictures of them topping off the pizzas. But I think since I wasn’t planning on eating at the restaurant, they weren’t too keen on the idea. I tried to convince them by telling them that I just wanted one picture and that it wouldn’t be of any of their faces. They still weren’t too into the idea. They responded by saying, “Not yet.” I assumed that it was a bad time for them so I ended up coming back to the restaurant two more times to try to take the picture. Each time, they said, “Not yet.” So I never got my picture. One other restaurant told me that if I ordered the pizza myself, I would be able to take a picture. But I wasn’t that desperate to take the picture. Though $12 doesn’t seem like a lot for pizza eaters in the States, over here it is a lot of money. I could be spending that same amount for a full day inclusive tour of the Angkor temples or four months of utility bills for my apartment.

We talked to the man, Luke, and his lady friend for a while. Turns out, they are both English teachers in an international school in India. They described their experiences traveling and teaching in several different countries in South Asia. It sounded amazing. I was becoming increasingly interested in international schools. After talking to a couple people, it seems like international schools have more structure and a higher standard for their kids. Students can pass or fail. Their academic future isn’t already written in stone. They have to actually put in effort for academic achievement. I do feel bad. I shouldn’t constantly rag on the Thai educational system. It’s just frustrating to see some of the kids’ potential and it being wasted away because of a silly unspoken rule. There are students that are truly motivated and do actually work hard in school. But there also is a significant amount that doesn’t care because they really don’t need to care; they will pass anyways. But in an international school, I feel like the learning environment would be more positive and encouraging.

Luke told us how he joined an international school fair that immediately picked him up and placed him in a wonderful school in Jakarta, Indonesia. He worked there for a year and loved it so much he wanted to try another international school in India. Even with the hectic and wild nature of India, he has enjoyed his experience and has decided to continue teaching for the last several years. After giving me some tips and showing us his large souvenir bag from the restaurant, we went on our way.

After a long journey across national borders, I am in Cambodia! Besides my nap in the back of the cab, I was wide-eyed and enthusiastic about my prospective adventure in Cambodia. As the sun fell, Bobby and I relaxed at a dessert café and tried some authentic Khmer dessert like coconut jellies and puddings. After choosing a tour for the following day, we hopped onto our bikes and headed to our quaint little guesthouse for a much needed good night’s rest.

A Very Beary Christmas

December 29, 2011

A Thai Christmas. It’s strange that Thailand celebrates Christmas. With a mainly Buddhist population, I would think that Christmas wouldn’t really be on their radar. This display of festivities for the Christian based holiday may be a big city thing actually. Maybe it’s maintained for the tourists or preserved since the string of expensive embellished events can help boost the economy. It does not necessarily display Christmas being a Christian holiday, which maybe most Buddhists can appreciate. Maybe, Thai people are so easy going that it doesn’t matter whether or not another religion is displayed all throughout their cities.

Berry Christmas. Every year, Thailand creates a theme for Christmas. This year the theme is bears. Bears were everywhere in the city. Stuffed bears along the streets, bear ornaments in the trees, bear shaped flags, and bear themed attractions. I didn’t get it but everyone seemed to love it. Lines and lines of people were waiting to fit their head into the giant bear head ornaments or to sit on a strange green animal’s lap (opposed to Santa’s lap). I still don’t know what that thing was. Also, this timing of the Christmas celebration seemed altered from the American way of celebrating. Though, Christmas has already passed, the festivities of Christmas still continued in the city and even in my school. But I’m not even sure if they are celebrating Christmas, the upcoming New Year, or if they’re celebrating to just to celebrate.

 

Jingle Bells. We have to sing? Really? Oh no. The English program at our school was participating in a school performance. Though the students are the stars of the show, the foreign teachers had to open up the show with the Christmas number: Jingle Bells. I wasn’t looking forward to this. Was it going to be acapella? How many teachers were going to perform or even show up? Some of the teachers tend to conveniently not show up when these types of events occur so I kept imagining that the show was just going to be Sarah and me attempting to sing the song alone. But they all showed, surprisingly. Our singing was the least eventful part of the performance though. At one point, someone set one of the stage’s Christmas trees on fire right as we all were about to start singing. One of the teachers kicked over the tree and started frantically stomping on it in front of the 800 person audience. It was pretty funny. But it could have been a disaster as there were a multitude of trees in a row that could have caught on fire pretty rapidly. That actually would have been fun to write about—granted no one got hurt.

The rest of the school performance consisted of a rendition of the birth of Jesus Christ, a singing contest, a bizarre sexual performance by a faux K-pop group, and a semi-slutty fashion show. Our students were definitely the best part of the show. I might be biased though. The Thai program didn’t seem as enthused as Sarah and me. Our students acted out the events that took place during Jesus’ birth, all in very broken English. Yet, it probably didn’t matter. The only part of the audience that could understand what they were saying was probably the foreign teachers. None of the Thai students, teachers, or administration understands English too well. But they were fantastic. I guess it makes it better when you actually know your students and their personalities. To see them doing something completely different than what you are used to in the classroom was pretty great. Some of our students are very talented as well. Many of them were able to sing quite proficiently and comfortably in front of the entire school. Maybe it’s because of all that karaoke they do here.

The rest of the performance progressively became more bizarre. Young girls in tight and exposed, leather outfits stepped on to stage and started to rhythmically wiggle their goodies in front of the young crowd. The girls in the audience held up colorful signs in Thai and screamed at the top of their lungs as if they were at a Britney Spears concert. The boys all had their mouths dropped and probably their dirty young minds wandering to places I don’t even want to think about.

What was this? Who was this girl group? Turns out, anyone can perform anything they want at a school performance. So without any type of monitoring or pre-evaluation, these high school girls created a dance based on a popular K-pop (Korean pop) girl group. They copied their look, moves, and songs entirely and then danced promiscuously in front of their young counterparts. Hmm? I just don’t remember my high school ever letting this type of student entertainment pass. Well, maybe it did. Maybe I’m just a more conservative thinking person now. The fashion show wasn’t much better. Girls still dressed in low-cut tops and short skirts, bringing to life the whole school girl outfit concept with an Asian twist. It looked like they were about to go out clubbing. Again, the boys had their mouths gaping open and minds racing. What were these girls thinking? And leather outfits, in this heat? Sounds terrible. But it’s the price of sex appeal. 

The Clash. Thailand seems to have such inconsistent cultural values. On one side, the Thai people are exceptionally conservative and spiritual with traditional customs more intact than most other cultures. On the contrary, the Thai people have a wild side to their culture. Their day and night life has a Vegas-ness to it. Ping-Pong shows, sex smeared across the streets, prostitution blatantly flaunted by older white men and their teenaged arm candy, Katoey popularization, and shorter than short shorts are some of the promiscuous part of Thai culture. Before coming to Thailand, I was told to not wear sleeveless shirts or shorts or skirts hemmed above the knee. This could have been a requirement for teaching but after some rigorous research, this was a definitely an unspoken customary rule of the Thai culture. So all my clothes seem Amish-like in comparison to what I’ve seen on the streets. It’s not like I crave the feeling of showing off some leg or shoulder but I’m a bit confused when I see almost every young and older woman walking around with clothes exposing their upper thighs. I also see vendors selling clothes that aren’t even close to qualifying as conservative. Even boys dress show more skin than I do. 

What happened to this social custom that I appreciated and anticipated before arriving in Thailand? I used to respect this culture for withstanding many Western influences and maintain their customs even with trivial aspects like clothing. Though there are certainly more extreme cases out in the world (The USA!), I didn’t expect this conversion in Thai society. Maybe that was my problem in the first place, expecting anything. 

I really don’t have a right to criticize.  I’ve never been to Thailand before this trip, I don’t actually know that much about Thai culture, and I relied on resources like Wikipedia to gain my cultural knowledge. Maybe my perspective is the one that’s skewed. Nevertheless, this change probably has to do with Western influence, a more rebellious, younger generation, the city life, or simply the extreme heat. I still don’t feel comfortable walking around in a tank top so I seem to wear more heavily sleeved shirts. Thus, I sweat incredibly because of it. Maybe I should give up and start exposing my shoulders at least? At least then, my shirts would finally be relieved of armpit sweat stains.

A Little Sense of Home

December 25-28, 2011

I was very excited to see my mom. It’s been a couple months now since I’ve seen her last. And though her constant nagging and worrying has translated rather clearly through email and Skype, she will bring a type of comfort that only family can provide. And I needed it. It’s been a long couple of weeks full of confusion and negativity. But she doesn’t know any of this. 

See, I haven’t told her anything. Both my parents seemed very against my idea of traveling to Thailand. My mom was definitely the one who didn’t want me to live in Thailand the most. Honestly, she tried several tactics to deter my departure. I even thought she was the one who caused my program to delay. I wouldn’t put it past her. She has a lot of influence. So after fighting with my parents about my decision to travel, I wasn’t going to let them in on my troubles over here. I didn’t want to hear the ‘I told you so’ phrase again. And oh do I despise those. When those words are said, it is an immediate trigger for a fury that you have never seen. This rage is accentuated when my mom says it.  Nevertheless, I was planning on telling her everything that has happened with the program and my job. I just would rather tell her in person since I can argue a lot better in person when she says ‘I told you so’.

When my mom arrived, I was relieved to see her. She brought with her a sense of home. Ah, home. I’m not necessarily homesick but rather people-sick. This was a good way my friend Morgan put it. It’s true. I can make my home anywhere but it’s the people that I would miss the most. I caught my mom up on all the unfortunate incidents that have occurred. She listened attentively and supported my decision and call for action completely. I felt very proud. She never seems to support any of my decisions or my actions. Then, she mentioned, “Why are you here? Why don’t you work in Taiwan?” Ehh…ruined that moment.

Shortening Fuse. I showed her my part of town. I showed her my street, my vendors, and my apartment. She didn’t seem happy or maybe she was just tired. But I was annoyed. I’m always trying to get my mom’s approval. With anything I do, I usually won’t feel completely comfortable unless she is proud or happy with my choices. It’s not good I admit, this constant seek for approval. Unfortunately, she wasn’t happy. She wanted better for me. She was upset with my program’s unprofessional conduct. She was upset at the dirty, smelly streets of my town. She was upset that my apartment was so small and slum (the classiest type of slum). I kept telling her that this is the best I can get over here and that I was happy (for the most part). I was getting really upset that she was ragging on me. I was already having a bad couple of weeks and there were only a couple things about my placement that I actually still liked or enjoyed. She wasn’t making me feel better. And she was supposed to make me feel cheerful by coming to visit.

I wanted to take her around Bangkok for the rest of the day. But after trying to plan a basic itinerary, I realized that I wasn’t as well inept about Bangkok as I thought. Although I’ve been traveling around Bangkok the last couple of weeks, I actually didn’t do too much of the planning or directing. So I followed and relied on my friends to take us everywhere. I’m usually a very independent person but it is easy to fall back into dependency, especially in the weakened, tired state I was in. I became dependent on my friends and never ended up learning the ways about the city on my own. I attempted to bring my mother to the Ratthanakosin district but I couldn’t find the right bus. I tried to take her to the Grand Palace by cab. But the driver and I couldn’t communicate so he just drove around aimlessly, wasted our money without having a clue on where to go. And this was my fault. I couldn’t speak enough Thai to help us get around. After an hour of trying to play travel guide with my mom, I gave up. I was frustrated that I wasn’t as proficient of a traveler as I thought. At this point, I was becoming irrational and picking fights with my mom. 

We explored the town for a little longer but my mom was getting tired. As we walked home, she complained about everything. This is her list of complaints: walking, transportation, the unpaved sidewalks, the garbage, the cheap clothing, the unsanitized food, my apartment, me living in Thailand, my acne-ridden face and dark circles, my cold shower, my limited amount of security outside my apartment, the stray dogs, my bed, my safety, the Wi-Fi, the cars that try to run you over, my apartment, the dirty street food, me living in Thailand, and more. Maybe it’s a mom thing? Nevertheless, not a good day.

The next morning, my mom went to explore the old and beautiful city of Ayutthaya with her friend Joe. Joe was her friend who used to live in Thailand. He came to visit and show my mom around Central Thailand for the short three days she was visiting. I was jealous. I want to go to Ayutthaya. It wasn’t fair. My mom was going to be exploring more of Thailand than I have. And I’ve been here for a month. I wish I could go. It would be nice to explore the old kingdom and be able to know what I was talking about when I taught about this kingdom in my Thai history class. I even debated calling in sick that day. But my conscious got the better of me and I reluctantly went to school, filling the kids’ brains with my limited knowledge of Ayutthaya and Thailand.

At night time, I met with my mom and Joe for dinner in Central World mall. This mall is considered the third largest mall in the world. This mall represented the rich and extravagant of Thailand, which is a tiny portion of the country’s population. It represented everything consumerism and Western and some people really despise like that. The Red Shirts are one of these groups. Though they are strongly against some more recent political controversies, they also aren’t the biggest supporters of the rich and famous. Several years ago, the group set this mall on fire, destroying many sections of the shopping center. Since then, it has been rebuilt. It looked very expensive. It was shiny, clean, and had a multitude of luxurious shops. I haven’t seen a mall like this in a long time. Joe, my mom and I had the most spectacular Thai food. But it didn’t cost a dollar. Joe just ordered several dishes he thought would represent Thai cuisine and some spicy dishes for my mom and my desensitized taste buds. We discussed Thai culture, language, and other funky cultural quirks about the country. I learned a little bit more about Thai history from Joe, which I was ecstatic about since I can use all the help I can get with that class.

Pushing Buttons. I’m actually a very patient person. I can endure a lot before I angrily explode. Though, I usually cry before I reach an intense stage like this. My mom can push my buttons like no one else can. Even with a slight disagreement, my filter is nonexistent and my fuse turns instantly into ash. I don’t have patience with her and I act irrationally and a little crazy. Imagine me with a severe eye twitch, projecting out bloodcurdling screams, and throwing endless childish tantrum. Yes, this is me when I’m around my mom. I’m a child again. After a pleasant evening with good food and conversation, my mom whined, “come home” and that was it. I blew up. I went into my insane mode and I started dishing out arguments left and right. I started to get mad at her for each and every complaint she voiced in the last day. I was mainly upset because even after months of traveling, she was still trying to get me to come home. Why doesn’t she just trust that I can do this? We argued for hours. It was a sad moment when I realized that we were still fighting, even when all the way across the world.

Those Three Words. Our family does not say I love you to each other. It’s kind of awkward. It’s always the most uncomfortable part of a conversation whenever those words are unexpectedly added in. I’ve tried to add these loving words into the ends of conversations but it never really works out. If added, our conversations would usually sound similar to this: “Okay, well I love you.” “…Okay…goodnight”. No acknowledgement, a lull in the conversation, and a bewildered facial expression. This sums up the typical response to an ‘I love you’ phrase. Maybe this is a reason why I’m grossed out by romanticism. Nonetheless, I’m always afraid of losing my loved ones (as I’m sure everyone else is as well). And what would make the loss even worse is leaving your loved one with parting words full of anger and spite.  I’ve heard of way too many situations in which people wished they were able to say something different or act in a different way. Not like I thought my mom or I would die but you never know what could happen. So despite our hostility towards each other, I said I love you to her because I wanted to make sure she knew. And gosh, you never knew with the crazy drivers over here. I’m sure I’m going to get killed by a car someday.

Making Peace. After a morning of apologies from both sides, my mom went to explore Bangkok with Joe. Again, I was jealous. She was still visiting more sites than I’ve been to since being here. I wonder how many sick days I can pull off in a row. After work, Sarah and I met up with my mom and Joe at the Siam Paragon mall. This also was a fancy mall that is several stories high, sells a series Lamborghinis and Ferraris within the mall, and has the largest aquarium in Southeast Asia on its basement floor. We walked around, explored the mall and the bookstore, and found an Italian restaurant to eat at. Sarah and I were both craving Italian. Or maybe we were just craving cheese. Thai food does not use cheese in their dishes. Maybe it’s because of the extreme heat or that most Thai people are lactose intolerant. But we miss it. We finally had our good share of cheese through a variety of dishes like pizza, raviolis, and tomato caprese. It’s been such a long time!

Then I said my goodbyes to my mom. Though it was stressful having her here, the last day definitely made up for it. My mom and I had a pleasant time together and she even told me she was proud of the work I was doing with the kids. That is a definite rarity—her telling me she is proud of me. Unfortunately she was only here for a couple days, passing through Thailand from Taiwan on her way home to the States. It was not enough time for her to really get to know Thailand and not enough time for me to be with her. 

Though we fought a lot during the short trip, our hostile dynamics is actually very similar to how we act at home. So in a way, it was almost like I was back at home. Strangely enough, this brought me a sense of routine and ease that I never thought I would appreciate (of course to the most minimal measure). I mean, what's our relationship without a little bit of clashing. I already miss her so much and my odd sense of home is now gone. I have to face the wrath of my disorderly school and the dirty, noisy, and busy city of Bangkok all by myself.

Christmas in the Wilderness

December 23-25, 2011 

Kanchanaburi. This charming province and pastoral region of Thailand is located on the very west border. It took five hours to get to Kanchanaburi. But it's not actually that far. It took about half that time just to get through 20 kilometers of Bangkok. But then again, it was the Friday before the Christmas vacation weekend so traffic was even more severe than usual. After sitting in traffic for a couple hours and missing our first bus to the province, Sarah and I finally got to Kanchanaburi to meet up with our friends from our program. They looked energetic and cheery. Sarah and I were envious. We were exhausted after being beaten down for the last couple weeks. We haven’t been sleeping too much so this weekend was our time to finally sleep and relax. It was closing in on midnight, but everyone wanted to hang out by the bars. After being prompted a bit, we forced ourselves out assuming that we would at least have a better time here than we have in our sleepless dungeon of an apartment.  

 

10฿ Drinks. So remember 30 ฿ is equivalent to $1. So 10฿ is about 30 cents. It costs 30 cents for an alcoholic drink at this one small drink stand on the foreigner’s street. 30 cents! Can you believe that? After listening to a reggae band and sipping down a concoction of vodka, rum, and dark syrup, we headed over to the bar ‘Get Drunk for 10B’ (compliments of Sarah’s previous findings). Yes, that is the name of the bar. I didn’t partake in the drinking though. Honestly, I was so tired I was constantly looking back at our hostel, fantasizing about lying down in a bed with drool dribbling down the side of my mouth. When I know I’m having a good night’s rest, I drool. I did try some of my friends’ drinks. It tasted like sugar, just like all of Thai cuisine. But it got the job done. The bar displayed your typical liquors like Jack Daniels, Absolute, and Bacardi. But I heard that these aren’t actually the types of labels they pour in your drinks. They supposedly fill the empty brand name bottles with the cheap ‘instant hangover’, plastic bottled liquor and serve it to you like it’s the real stuff. Despite my reluctance to drink that night, I knew that this was a place I wanted to stop by at some point in the near future. 

It was nice to see everyone again. Our group grew very close over the weeks of training. But since most of us were separated in our school placements, we haven’t caught up with each other in some time. But hearing wonderful stories of their teaching experience at their school was a bit disheartening. They loved their jobs. They loved it so much they were ready to sign a one year contract for the following year. Listening to their time with the young kids and what they were teaching made me miss elementary school even more. Hearing them explain how they plan lessons and their free time after school, made me miss having some sort of life. Sarah and I are either at school, planning rigorously or we are cooped up in our apartments intensely planning and studying into the late hours of the night. I want to love my job. I want to have enough energy to stay up past midnight on my night away from the books. I couldn’t kick this feeling of sadness and sleepiness. So I called it a night and fulfilled my fantasy of resting in bed and saturating my pillow with saliva.

Bungalow on the River. The guesthouses in this town were right along the River Kwai. Some of the rooms were floating on the river as well. We stayed at the VN Guesthouse. Along with the view of the river and lily pad pond, we had a private floating room with A/C and a hot shower for only 180฿ or $6 a night. Not too bad. As a bonus, we had morning entertainment since a karaoke boat would pass by every morning with exuberant, dancing Thai villagers. A free show. Last time Sarah came to this village, she stayed at this place called the Jolly Frog (I love the name!). The Jolly Frog though had only cold showers, was only 70฿ or $2 a night. Even better. This place looked amazing. A large garden full of flora and greenery. Hammocks. Floating rooms. I know this isn’t the last time I will visit this place so I know exactly where I’ll be staying next time.

Motor Ride. I have always been against the idea of motorcycles or motorbikes. They scare me. I’ve seen what they’ve done to people. I’ve seen what people have done with them. I always told myself that I would never get on one. To the contrary, I rode a motorbike here. I actually didn’t want to but we were going to a far destination in which it was more convenient and cheaper to use motorbikes as transportation. Everyone in the group wanted to ride one so I felt compelled to do it as well. I was really nervous though. I kept on telling myself “I’m in Asia. They ride them all the time here. If I want to acclimate, I might as well try it out.” For 150 ฿ or $5, we rented our motorbikes for an entire day. Surprisingly, I wanted to ride on my own bike, instead of being a passenger. I didn’t know my friends’ previous biking experiences and I felt more in control of my safety if I were the one driving. I mean, I did bike to school for a year in college. I’m a bit clumsy but I’m pretty seasoned biker I think.

We were on our way to Erawan National Park, which was over 60 kilometers away. After paying and giving David’s passport away as collateral, we were ready to take off. I felt like we were those motorcyclists on that show ‘The Sons of Anarchy’ with our little biker gang. The owner of the bike shop kept on asking us, or just me, if we were sure they we were experienced enough to ride. He kept on asking me in broken English, “You ride a bike before? “You ride a bike before?” I was determined to overcome my fear of bikes and I wasn’t going to let this guy ruin this opportunity. So I kept on lying every time he asked. I even put my sunglasses on to conceal the blatant guilt all over my expression. After I finally convinced him and myself that I was ready, I did something stupid. On TV, I always see people reeving their bike engines before a race so I wanted to try that out. I had no idea that by doing that the bike was going to propel me forward. I started to scream as my bike took off in front of me. I was able to stop it in time before I hit anyone or anything. Again, the owners were very concerned. They approached me again and asked me the same thing. I reassured them, and myself, that everything was going to be okay.

And it was. I was very nervous but I made it out on the street and even on the semi-highway paced road. I didn’t go too fast in the beginning but I finally got the hang of it when the roads became just straight for dozens of kilometers. I constantly got honked at by cars passing me up. I was driving the standard 80-90 kph but I was not aware of my surroundings and my tiny bike was blocking the middle of the road. Since I was still worried, I was very rigid as I rode. And unfortunately, our ride was long. So my body was stuck in the same position with my shoulders and arms tensed up for what if felt like hours. It probably took us a little over an hour to get there. 

My favorite part of the ride was the scenery though. I was able to see nature for the first time in a while. Nature was everywhere and the forests we passed along the way were so green and plush. I also was able to see small rural villages, run down schools, and children and dogs playing in the dirt. I felt really happy being able to see this part of town but I also became a little sad. This was the type of area I wanted to teach and live in. I wanted to experience this. My experience in Bangkok was much different; it was more fast-paced and congested. I felt this sense of bliss and tranquility just imagining my living in this type of environment. 

Despite my capability of riding for long uninterrupted stretches, I did encounter some issues riding. I’m good at riding and accelerating it seemed. But when it comes to stopping and starting the bike, I got into some trouble. When I attempted to stop, the bike fell on top of me, crushing my left foot and the same shin that was still healing up from China. Another incident continued to prove my incompetence and agility in riding. When trying to start the bike, I confused the accelerator for my brake controls and my bike uncontrollably flew forward towards the front of a store. I screamed frantically as I envisioned myself shattering the store's glass window with my head. I ended up finding the brakes in time before plowing into the building. I was shaking for a while afterwards. It was a bit traumatizing. I don’t know if motor biking is really for me. 

Can you believe that's me!?!? I look hardcore as a biker chick, huh?

Erawan National Park. This park is considered to have some of the most beautiful waterfalls in Asia. And I was fortunate enough to jump off some of them. With a little mix of jungle and forest, this park has a seven-tiered waterfall sequence encircling a large mountain. When first entering the park, a small waterfall awaits at the bottom level. After a bit of a hike uphill, there’s bigger waterfall. At each level of your hike up, there is an even bigger waterfall. The best part about it is not only are the waterfalls for your viewing pleasure but you are able to swim around and jump off these waterfalls too. 

I was able to swim in the fourth waterfall up. Right when you enter the water, your feet are attacked by huge doctor fishes (those sucking fish). You have to keep moving to ensure they stop trying to nibble at your skin. These guys are also a lot bigger and more aggressive than the ones you find in the spa-like tanks in the tourist areas of Southeast Asia. This particular waterfall has large boulders with a powerful stream of water flowing off of it. We all took turns sliding off of it and diving into the water. Despite the major wedgie, it was fun sliding down this nature-made slide and being completely engulfed by the water below. I’m just glad I avoided the dreadful and unforgettable enema I usually get when sliding down water slides. It wasn’t as bad this time.

Since we had a slow start to the morning, we didn’t get here in time to experience all seven of the waterfalls. Thus, providing me another good reason to come back to this wonderful little town! The park closes early but the rangers were closing each waterfall every 30 minutes starting from the seventh waterfall. So we rushed over to the second waterfall before it got shut down. You couldn’t actually jump off this waterfall. This waterfall’s setting was more serene. You can wade around the natural pool of water and crawl into the small hollows behind the waterfall. In the caves concealed by the fall, you can sit upon dampen and mossy rocks and peer out through the water falling over on top of you. This is when I wished I bought a water camera before coming to Thailand. I should’ve known! This is Thailand. There is water everywhere! It was an amazing feeling swimming over to the waterfall and getting pounded by the fall as I tried pulling myself into the cave. After finding a spot on a rock at the bottom of the fall, I just stared through the water out into the open forest with the water beating against my legs and feet. It was amazing. I’m literally in paradise and I don’t want to go back to Bangkok. I belong here in the jungle and in this cave. This is the first time in weeks, I haven’t felt stressed and I don’t wish to be fast asleep in bed. For all future travelers to Thailand, this is definitely a place you want to be.

Christmas Feast. Who would’ve thought that we would be spending Christmas in Thailand, a country that doesn’t even officially recognize the holiday? But Thailand is big on tourism and feeds off of any holiday that gives reason to celebrate or get time off of work. Thus, some Thai businesses cater towards this holiday. We decided to eat at the Jolly Frog Restaurant. The restaurant served a variety of different cuisines around the world, catering to our many different cravings. For example, I wanted to have Thai food but I was craving potatoes. Thailand doesn’t use too many potatoes in their dishes so when I saw mashed potatoes on the menu, I was sold. It was terrible though. Thai people tend to use condensed milk in almost everything it seems. It tasted like condensed milk unfortunately. Our Christmas feast consisted of pizza, Thai curries, Indian lassi, duck, potatoes and fries, Chang beer, pineapple rice, and lasagna. What a variety, huh? We celebrated by eating. Others celebrated by drinking. Some of us were exhausted from the day and again called it an early night. Sleep! I definitely need some more. My kids are calling me panda eyes because of the darkened and sunken areas forming around my eyes.

Oh man! Do I have to go back? Why can’t I stay here? I belong in nature.

Merry Holidays to family and friends across the world. I hope you have a good one this year.

What Did I Do?

December 21, 2011

We weren’t happy. As petty as it may sound, we weren’t getting the things that we expected from this teaching and traveling experience. Sarah and I wanted to work and travel but it just seem to be all work. We didn’t know if we were doing something wrong or if this was an abnormal teaching situation. We didn’t have enough time to explore the city and travel throughout Thailand over the weekends. The workload seemed more than usual. We weren’t getting as much money as we expected since our contract was shorten by almost two months. With the prospective sum of money we would be getting, I couldn’t make back the money I spent on this trip as I was hoping. Along with the shortened teaching duration, our monthly salary was below the amount promised to us. We weren’t even getting enough money for our housing allowance and would have to pay out of pocket by the end of the month. Lastly, I wasn’t getting as much teaching experience as I expected since our teaching tenure was reduced.

We were both trying to deal with the frustrations and trying to be more positive about our placement. But misery likes company and if the company is having a much better time, it can be upsetting. Our friends from the teaching program were having a great time at their new placements. Granted, not every workplace is going to make every person happy but they seemed to be getting everything that we were promised by ATI and the contract. Turns out, their school and many other schools didn’t have to work the weekends and were given the expected salary and housing allowance amount. These were the things that we were told we wouldn’t get if we went to another school, thus making our school look more appealing and helping to establish our commitments to the school early on.

What would you do if you were told that this school was the only one that doesn’t have to work the weekends? Wouldn’t you take it or strongly consider it? What would you do if you found out that all the other school options didn’t have to work the weekends either…after you made your commitments already? I was upset and felt cheated by the program and my supervisor. I had to do something. I had to stand up for myself.

After discovering that all the other schools were paid the salary promised, given a proper housing allowance, had a contract with the school until the end of March, and had the weekends off, I was very unhappy. That was everything that we were promised. We were specifically told by our advisor that we wouldn’t get any of these at any other school. They seemed to be living the dream and we were given the short end of the stick even though we paid the same amount to get into the program and we signed the same contract with these same guarantees. After weeks of trying to be calm, I finally broke down and cried for a bit. It felt good. For a while, I felt numb to the situation and my anger started to fester and eat me inside. I guess finding out that the others had it better was the tipping point for me. 

The Email. After Sarah and I vented about it and drank away our sorrows, I decided to send an extensive email to the program directors and advisors informing them of my dissatisfaction. I noted the unprofessional behavior and lack of communication of the program. I discussed the concerns I had with the advisor falsely advertising this school and other prospective jobs. I mentioned the specific breaks in the contract that we signed before flying across the world to work abroad. I pointed out our issues with our monthly salary, housing allowance, and contract tenure. And I expressed our confusion with our advisor’s large cut from our already depleted salary. I made sure to inform them that we were still planning on staying at the school mainly for the kids, but we weren’t happy. 

I’ve been trying to express all these thoughts to associate members of the program since I’ve started to learn about the difference between the contract guarantees and reality. But no one from the program wanted to admit any mistake. They continued to blame the flood for everything and continued to dodge my emails.  At this point, I just wanted some type of acknowledgement of their wrongdoings, maybe an apology of some sort. Surprisingly, I got so much more.

I truly didn’t expect an email back since they’ve never really responded to me in the past. After a day passed, I received an email from my advisor informing me that she isn’t taking the 25% cut from our salary anymore. I was in shock. No we are going to receive the full amount that the job was supposed to provide us. I couldn’t believe it. We can actually fully pay for our accommodations and feel compensated for our massive amount of work. 

At first, I was excited that I stood up for myself and my voice was heard. But then, I started to feel terrible. Did I cross a boundary? Am I now selfishly taking from someone doing their job? I felt conflicted. I didn’t believe that our advisor deserved a quarter of each of our monthly salaries, but my intentions were not to put her out of money. I’m not a confrontational person so it was hard for me to deal with what I’ve done. I also dislike burning bridges and making others feel bad, and I probably didn’t make her feel too good. I started to doubt my actions and was even considering sending her an email explaining that her money wasn’t necessarily what I wanted. But I also felt like we needed the money and that it would make up for our intense workload and lessened teaching experience and salary. I do believe we deserved some type of compensation. I didn’t know what to do. And when I don’t know what to do, I usually turn to one person.

My Advice Person. I was anxious and upset and desperately need to talk to Lacey. Lacey is my ultimate advice person. Whenever I don’t know what to do, I can usually trust her to lead me in the right direction. I actually believe I’m rather good at solving life problems. In the past, friends and family members have relied on me to help solve their problems and comfort their feelings. I’m used to this role. Usually when I have my own problems, I can deal with it myself since I feel like I’m pretty in tuned to the workings of my inner mind. There aren’t too many people I genuinely rely on for advice. Lacey is something else though. She is wise beyond her years. She always knows what to say and she can always find a way to understand where you are coming from. She has the ability of being completely rational and blunt, yet comforting and optimistic. She has both put me in my place and has deeply reassured my emotions. 

Since meeting her a couple years ago, I have trusted her with an assortment of concerns ranging from the most petty of issues to some of my darkest secrets and moments. During one of the short whiles I was single, she gave me some dating advice: Never give your number to a guy. Always take theirs so you can choose to call them instead and you won’t have random men blowing up your phone. This type of scenario doesn’t happen to me too often but she has saved me from a couple sticky situations. She claims this advice is from a love guru, Steve Harvey, but I don’t think I would have been as inspired if it weren’t coming out from Lacey’s guidance.

I knew I needed to talk to Lacey. She will be able to tell me what to do or at least lead me in the right direction. So after finding her online, I was able to explain the situation and express my concerns and negative feelings. As expected, she was supportive and reassuring. She believed that it was the right thing to do and that Sarah and I deserved the compensation. When I talked to Sarah about the news, she was ecstatic. She felt like we deserved it with the amount of work we put in and since it was one of the many things promised to us in our program’s contract. I started to feel better now knowing that I had support and that I maybe wasn’t crossing a line.

I started to feel better since finding out others supported my actions. I did stand up for myself, which I don’t do normally. I’m not an argumentative person so usually I let things go—except if you are a boyfriend or family member of course! That’s another story. But I felt wronged in a way and I took action. Surprisingly, my concerns were met even when I didn’t expect it. With the extra compensation, it makes up for the month that was taken away and the amount of work that we have to do at our jobs. And I can finally afford my housing now!

Maybe Teach, Maybe Not

December 20, 2011

My job is getting more trying as each day passes. I’ve actually remained rather calm throughout this but I can tell my inner fuse is getting shorter and shorter. Don’t worry though. I don’t usually get visibly angry or throw furniture around. I just cry. I cry a lot. And though I’ve remained rather dry, I’m expecting this messy outcome if this chaos continues.

Disorder. The school is incredibly unorganized. There isn’t an established system for school standards and there aren’t any substantial rules to enforce. And if there were, no one enforces them anyways. If the kids are late, it doesn’t matter. The Thai teachers and administration will even contribute excuses like “Oh, it’s okay. He is always late.” Really? Even for an exam? I have one student who has seemed to stop coming to class. I’m really hoping it’s not because I’ve steered her with my incessant and exhaustive flibber flabber or my own halfhearted attitude towards the topic of ‘food consumption of high value food items’. Boring, right?  I only have one student in that class now. They continue to tell me that she is coming, but she never does. If she doesn’t attend class, I can’t give her a passing score. As for the exams, she won’t do as well if she doesn’t do the work. I can’t feed her the answers for the test. But I have a feeling that this may be asked of me at some point. I continue to ask the Thai teachers about the students’ whereabouts. Without any real care in their voice, they just tell me that she is a lazy girl and I should not care about her and move on. 

This event perfectly describes my constant confusion with the school’s skewed system: 

This week, we were told we had a holiday on Thursday. Then, we were told that we had to come to school even though the students weren’t going to be here. Then we found out that the holiday was actually on a Wednesday. Then we were told that the holiday was actually on the Thursday but we also won’t have class on Wednesday. Next, we were told that we do have class on Wednesday but the kids might not show up. Then, we were told that Friday was a holiday as well. Then, we were informed that Friday is not a holiday but the kids might not come. Then we were told that all three days were a holiday and then immediately told that Thursday is our only day off. Confusing right? 

This obscure dialogue occurred over the period of two days. Two very confusing days. The quote from this week is, “maybe teach, maybe not” or “the kids may show, the kids may not” How does one plan or teach effectively with this endless sense of uncertainty. This disorganization is probably a reason why the schedule continues to change every day. Things are so hectic here that the synchronizing of classes is nearly impossible. Therefore, I will probably show up to school on a holiday.

Lack of Communication. If something important is happening, I seem to be the last to know. All the foreign teachers are the last to know. We are rarely informed if there is a change. There have been several instances in which we weren’t informed that a class wasn’t here today or that we have a holiday the next day. For example, I teach the 12^th graders four times a week. So I plan for each class and I don’t apathetically design my lesson plans. I am learning that we can’t rely on our schedules anymore. Actually, the best resource has become the students themselves. Too many times, have I had to ask my students if they are planning to show up to school on a certain day or if there is a holiday coming up. There is really no point in relying on the staff or administration to tell you anything. If they do, it will be right as it is happening or after the fact. Also, some of the teachers and administration I never can seem to find. Some of them don’t ever seem to be at school. 

Extending the School Day. Because of the floods, the government shut down many schools in Central Thailand. Though most schools were not affected by the floodwaters, the semester was still delayed three weeks. Now some schools have class on Saturday in order to make up for lost time in class. Our school does not have Saturday school fortunately. Whew! But a month after school had already began, the school decided to finally do something for the lost time. Luckily, they did not extend the school week. They extended the school day. The kids are going to be in school for ten hours now. They don’t have the attention spans for that. Not many people do. By the early afternoon, students will lose the capability to retain new information. And so will the teachers. Therefore, this required another schedule change yet again. 

Teaching Thai History. I have spent too many hours online researching Thailand’s history. Surprisingly, there isn’t much information about Thai history. It makes me wonder if Thailand censors their Internet more than I though. Teaching Thai history has made this job even more difficult that I could have imagined. I feel pretty incompetent teaching the subject. I’m mostly afraid that the students will figure out that I’m a fraud as a Thai history teacher. I feel like I’m writing a research paper as well. I am gathering as many resources as I can and trying so hard not to use Wikipedia. 

Every time I teach Thai history, I’m very sensitive to the students’ expressions and statements. Once I see or hear anything out of the ordinary, I clam up and retract my statement sometimes. It’s not good. I need to have more confidence. But it’s difficult. I had a dream the other night; a dream that relates to my real life concerns. I was a car mechanics teacher for a university—a topic I know nothing about. It was my first day of class and I was supposed to teach car mechanics theory. Is there even such a thing? Then, I was supposed to demonstrate how to take apart the car and put it back together. The students called me out and no one showed up for class anymore. Is this foreshadowing what might occur in the future?

Workload. I didn’t expect the amount of work I would be investing in each day. I mean, I didn’t expect it to be easy by all means. But all of my planning periods, lunch breaks, afterschool time, and night times have been dedicated to planning and researching. It doesn’t help when the school constantly changes the schedule since I have to continue scrapping plans or moving them around. I haven’t slept in a while. I’m exhausted all the time. I believe I’m good with history but I need to relearn a lot of this material and come up with fun activities to help students absorb it. And come on, history is difficult to make fun. I only found it interesting because I was nerdy in college. I wasn’t given too many resources either so most of my ideas are coming straight from my head or through rigorous research. This takes more time. Sleep takes a lot of time. And unfortunately we need sleep. 

My Daily Routine:

6am                       Stagger out of bed and to 7 eleven to get an ice café late.

7am                       Get a new schedule and complain about it.

8am-5pm             ‘maybe teach, maybe not teach’

5pm                       Quickly grab food from a street vendor on my way home.

5pm-2am             Study subject, research Thai history, maybe write on this blog, make lesson plans, shower    if there’s time…

It seems like there isn’t much time to actually explore the city or travel on the weekends. I was fortunate enough to not have to work on weekend but now I am; it is just working at home. I’m starting to get more upset. Why is this job taking up so much time? Why is this job so difficult? Why am I not enjoying my experience here? I went through a difficult teaching program and I’ve taught at a school before. It was definitely the most difficult thing I’ve done and is something I would never want to put myself through again. But I still had enjoyable moments. Is it because I am conflicted with the balance between traveling and working? Playing and working? Is it because I just got out of my program and feel entitled to a break? Is it because I just didn’t expect to work this hard? Is it because I don’t have any free time to travel, sleep, or even eat?

As of now, all I have to comfort me is milk tea. I just found a milk tea vendor set up next to my apartment. Oh no, this is going to be dangerous. I’ve have already started purchasing one or two drinks a day. I think I might be her most loyal customer. Even when I approach the stand, neither of us has to say a word. She just makes my drink and smiles. It is so good and its only 60 cents for one drink. I miss milk tea back in the States. I miss my fun experiences getting milk tea with friends or showing newbies what milk tea is all about. If someone can ship milk tea and IN-N-OUT Burger to my address that would be greatly appreciated.

Ramkhamhaeng Night Market. After a couple overwhelming days at work, Sarah and I needed to de-stress. We decided to explore our small town for a night. A night away from the books; it’s such a strange concept. Our little area is rather interesting. It’s at a disadvantage since it’s in Bangkok but my small town isn’t too bad. Despite the unruly traffic and murky, dirty air, the town is away from the touristy areas of Bangkok and is in an area in which locals and college students typically hang out. Additionally, there is barely any English used among the locals or English written signs, restaurant menus, or advertisements. This has required both of us to use the pointing gesture a lot more. 

There is an abundant amount of shopping and food everywhere as well. There are small bars and entertainment centers that exhibit a live band on the weekend. There are even several night markets along the busy streets. One of the biggest nightly markets on this is a large outdoor tented market, which is a large several acres of tented stalls serving a variety of street food, clothes, household items, and even miniature bunnies. It is always crowed but it’s a fun area to be around and explore. Most people get their food and bring it to a nearby park with small pond and a monument displaying a grand picture of the king.

 
It was so nice to be outside our apartment. Since starting the job, Sarah and I have had so much to study and catch up on we have been stuck inside—cussing up a storm, crying, and definitely not sleeping. We had a nice relaxing time playing with puppies, eating fried, greasy food, and shopping for other apartment items. I had such great food that night at such a low price. For a glass of coconut juice, bag of chicken wings, French fries, and mango sticky rice, it cost 100 ฿ or $3. It was amazing. Can you believe that cheap for several meals. I don’t know how I’m ever going to go back to the States and eat.Thailand's going to ruin eating for me for a long while.