Sunday, January 22, 2012

Meet Me in Pai

January 18-22, 2012

A must-needed break. That is what this weekend is going to be all about. Relaxing. Sleeping. Elephant riding. Sounds pretty fantastic, right? It has been an exhausting week of exams and Sarah and I were going to try to make something out of the weekend. So we decided to head up to the small town of Pai in the most Northern region of Thailand.

I have always wanted to travel with Sarah. She is such a world traveler and wilderness woman. Some of her characteristics and adventures have inspired me to follow in her nomadic footsteps. She has traveled all over the world; reaching 28 countries and all but one continent with just a backpack and good spirits. She has also made several journeys across the United States making sure she had visited every state in the one country she calls home. When she isn’t globetrotting, she is living in a tent and guiding fellow trekkers into the deep wilderness of a vast national forest in Montana. I have been very intrigued by her and her exciting lifestyle. She has so many adventures and stories I can barely keep up listening. I’m a bit envious of her since I have always wanted to have the courage and stamina to be able to travel like she does. So I’m very excited to travel with Sarah and I can’t wait to be part of her adventures. I think I can really learn a lot from her.

The Sleeper Bus. The trip from Bangkok to Pai is supposed be a tiring one. It is about 12 hours away and requires a bus change once getting into the northern province of Thailand. So I was about to experience my very first night bus. It’s kind of a neat concept. Your bus leaves at night. You sleep somewhat comfortably as you are driven to your destination. You wake up and you arrive at your destination. Just like that! You essentially don’t have to waste an entire day since you have to sleep at some point. Though traveling the far distance using a plane would be significantly faster and more comfortable (for those who do better on flights), the low expense and the luxury of not having to go through the airport’s obstacle course of stringent security and baggage can make it worthwhile. 

Sarah and I found our way across town to the northern bus station. For about 500฿ ($15), we took a night bus to Chiang Mai first. This bus ride was supposed to take about ten hours. Oh man! It sounded terrible. But it would be nice to get the sleep. Right when we got onto the bus, a bus attendant handed us a pillow, blanket, and a bagged dinner, which consisted of a small water bottle and banana cake. During the beginning of the ride, I was completely hypnotized by this badly synchronized Thai-dubbed James Bond film.

I couldn’t stop watching. I think I am pretty tolerant when watching dubbed over television shows. My mom used to watch these Taiwanese-dubbed Korean soap operas for hours. My sister and I never understood why she would watch them. Not only were they overly dramatic (someone usually dying or crying or both), but the timing of the voices and the character’s mouths were severely uncoordinated. She would take the television for hours watching these shows while my sister and I pouted and whined for her to change the channel. So we came up with ways to make her experience less comfortable and less enjoyable. One of our malicious methods was coming up with our own English-dubbed dialogue and speaking over the Taiwanese-dubbed Korean soap opera. We would sit in front of the television, chose a character, and improvise their dialogue in a crude manner. We would speak loudly enough so my mom couldn’t hear her native language and we would maintain this bothering discourse until my mom would get mad. This tactic was a hit or miss but it is definitely a funny and cherished moment in my sister and my fluctuating relationship

I couldn’t even understand what was going on in the James Bond film but I stared at the screen for almost the entirety of the movie. Maybe it was because it made me miss watching movies. I don’t really have too much time to watch a full length movie when I’m teaching and traveling. I also don’t have any movies to watch as I promised my friends from my China tour I wouldn’t buy any of the pirated movies in Thailand. I shouldn’t have made that promise. They are everywhere and they are so cheap! But I have kept my word so far. We’ll see how long my word lasts.

We arrived at Chiang Mai’s bus station around five in the morning. I was so tired. My contact lenses were dried and attached to my inner eye lids. My mouth felt dry and stale and there was evidence of drool left on the corner of my lips. My neck had an uncomfortable kink in it from my awkward upright sleeping position. My legs were riddled with small welts from those wretched mosquitoes conveniently stuck on bus with us. Oh, the luxuries of riding a night bus. After groggily stumbling off the bus and into the station, Sarah found us a stairwell to sleep under while we waited for the bus station to open. With our backpacks as pillows and dust and bugs layering the floor, we slept for a couple hours as we waited for our bus to arrive.

This bus ride wasn’t the best. It was cold and for some reason every available seat I went to had its window jammed open. So there was no escaping the wrath of the freezing winds. Thailand has cold weather? Strange concept, right? Although most days in Bangkok the weather peaks over 100 degrees Fahrenheit, it is considered to be Thailand’s cool season and we were headed up north. Not only was Pai located very far up north, the small village was experiencing some of the coldest weather it’s had for a long time. And the only thing I brought from Bangkok was a thin pullover. Actually, that’s the only I brought to Thailand. I just assumed its Thailand. It never gets cold in Thailand. Oh, I was wrong. I started layering some of the clothes that I packed. Still cold. I was violently shivering the entire trip up to Pai. I used to laugh whenever I would see street vendors selling wool trench coats and down feathered jackets. Now I know why. At least my trip experience was made better when I caught a monk peeing on the back of the bus. I thought monks weren’t supposed to do stuff like that.


I Pai. This small mountain village is the perfect getaway for those who need a break from the fast lane—or for hard working teachers that need a break from treacherous, infuriating spawns of the corrupt Thai school system. I’m exaggerating. They aren’t that horrible. Some of them are starting to grow on me. Located in the most Northern mountainous part of Thailand, Pai is overwhelmed with waterfalls, jungles, elephants, rivers, and foreign and Thai hippies. Sounds amazing already. It is a rather cute and friendly town that concentrates around River Pai. While some people partake in outdoor activities such as trekking, kayaking, white water river rafting, and tubing, many people also relax and do nothing. We were planning to do it all and nothing at all at the same time. 

Right when we arrived, the town already exudes a sense of peace and ‘Hakuna mata’. It’s just one of those places you just have to breathe everything in to really have a better sense of the environment. Or maybe that is the unaccustomed smell of unpolluted air. A nice change of pace/smell. Almost immediately, your stiff shoulders relax and can feel the cool temperate air tingle every nerve on your skin. You are in a place like no other. Small bohemian shops line one of the main streets in town. Small Thai men with wicked dreadlocks walk around barefoot, smiling and waving to every person that walks by. Farangs (or foreigners) with dreads, bare feet, and fishermen pants walk around doing the same. The lifestyle pace of the locals and foreigners is quite different from what we are used to in Bangkok. Everything is in slow motion with an even more lax attitude than the usual Thai way. 


We walked around the area, looking for a bungalow overlooking the leisurely flowing river. The town had these romantic and cute abodes along the riverbanks some of them in a tent-form, bamboo woven, or thatched cottages. Some of them looked too intimate, but then again this town is all about peace and love. We found a pretty nice bungalow called Golden Hut. The cost per night was bit pricier than what we expected. But it was worth having an abode along the river even for just one night. Friendly staff, beautiful view, relaxed and simple room. What else do you need? A Thai elephant maybe.


After a delicious lunch and a stroll around the village, Sarah and I wanted to ride some elephants. Finally, elephant riding. This is what I’ve wanted to do since I arrived in Thailand. This is one of the things Thailand is known for, their exotic and treasured elephants. We found a nearby elephant camp that allowed us to ride and bathe with the elephants in the river. The elephants were amazing. Although they were humongous in size, they were absolutely adorable in nature. Seeing the elephants eating and interacting with their friends helps to confirm that you are in one of the most exotic countries of the world. Actually, seeing them in the wild would probably make them seem more exotic but this is the closest we can get to them. Elephants are very significant in Thai culture. They are important to most Southeast Asian countries as they were used as the main vehicle in ancient wars and still play a vital role and symbol in the country’s most practiced religion, Buddhism. We were about to ride them just like the ancient Thai warriors did as they darted across battle fields, spearing their enemies left and right. 


Barebacking, Anyone? We were going to be riding the elephants bareback. I found this more appealing since you can actually feel the elephant’s course and leathery skin on your own. Actually that definitely wasn’t the appealing part. It was mainly because you are able to be closer to the elephant, really embracing the elephant on this short ride. With just a small blanket laid across the elephant’s back, we straddled the elephant skin to skin, crotch to spine. To clarify, our crotches to her spine. Oh it hurt. At least for a little while until your groin starts to numb and the fear of you falling off the giant elephant becomes even more encompassing. It wasn’t that bad especially when you think about what you are actually experiencing. Our elephant was named Mai. Either she was a defiant creature or our guide was too harsh. Our guide would get angry, yell at her and whack her on the head with a stick every couple of minutes. This was definitely not my favorite part of the ride. I think he was a bit malicious in nature, especially towards animals. He was quick to hit our elephant and continuously used a sling shot to knock nearby birds off their perches.


Elephant Riding. The walk was quite slow and peaceful besides the knocking sound coming from the guide’s stick. The elephant was walking quite slowly making it hard to imagine that these animals were used for fighting in battle. It made me think of predatory snails. Have you heard of them? Snails genetically modified to hunt and kill other snails. Can you imagine that chase? You would have to fast forward a video of their hunt in order to see any action. Mai walked us down the small dirty road to the riverbank. She stepped into the river and started to walk knee-deep in the water—well, elephant knee deep. We were about to go bathing with her. I didn’t know what to expect. How do you go bathing with an elephant? 


Farang vs. Chang Without warning, she started to become restless and unsteady. She started to frantically swing her head around and then her whole body. Sarah and I barely had a moment to figure out what was happening before one by one, we were propelled off her back and into the river. I guess the guide gave her the signal to throw us off. It was startling but very refreshing to be dumped into the river. This river is more acceptable to swim in though. Though I’m sure the townspeople of Pai probably expel garbage and other forms of waste in their rivers, I figure the farther away from Bangkok the cleaner. 


After recovering from shock, the guide motioned for us to climb back up Mai. But right when we got settled on Mai’s back, she threw us off again. And again. And again. We didn’t stand a chance with Mai as with one shake of her head sent us flying. Every time we got back up she would throw us off like frail little dolls. We started to become more resistant to her movements. We’ll Sarah more so than me. But we started to hold on to her ears and her neck to be able to stay on her back. But a sudden splash of water into our faces from her nose would distract us enough to lose grip of her body. We were thrown about for another 30 minutes. After a couple of skin burns and water-filled ears and stomachs, we were ready to head back to the camp. 











Thrown off like a little doll...



 A little better. Still improving...




On our way back, the guide continued to get mad at Mai. She wasn’t following his directions and she kept on going off the path to get food. You could tell she was hungry as she was eating everything she could find along the way. When we got back to the camp, we fed her bananas. It was so cute, yet disturbing. Have you ever noticed that an elephant’s mouth looks like a gigantic vagina? Labia majora check! Labia minora check! Pubic hair...eh I'll stop there. Sarah brought this comparison up. Since then I couldn’t stop staring at Mai’s gaping, genital-looking mouth as she vigorously stuffed bananas into it. Regardless of our dirty minds, it was fun to watch her use her nose to sniff around our hands, snatch the bananas, and desperately shove them into her mouth. She was a hungry girl!


A giant vagina, right?


Cute!?!?


By the time we got back into the main town center of Pai, it was nearly dark and the night market was being set up. It was very large as it extended to almost every street in town. The vendors sold a variety of weavings, jewelry, beautiful postcards, food, and Pai-themed items. Most of the Pai-themed items can only be described as romantic and cute. Pai products help to represent the charming and sweet atmosphere of the cutesy and friendly town and people of Pai. 




Another theme of the town, which can definitely be seen upon arrival, is relaxation. Life here is just slow paced. When you walk, you walk with leisure and without purpose. When you eat food or shop, you eat and shop without a care and without a sense of time. When you talk to fellow travelers and vendors, you communicate with such a peace of mind that it is almost like you are in a world of its own. While you are living your life in the slow lane in Pai, there is always gentle and graceful live music playing at every moment. You almost begin to think that you’re in a dreamlike movie and the encompassing melody is your theme song. I really enjoyed walking around even without the intent of buying anything. But of course, everything was so cute I had to buy something. And I ended up buying a lot of things.

Pai Voyager. We signed up for a tour that was going to take us all around the mountains and rustic villages around Pai. We had a lot of sights lined up for one day so we had to wake up very early to begin our tour. So around four o’clock in the morning, we got on a bus and traveled two hours away from Pai to a village called Pang Aung to watch the sunrise. This village was a small town that seemed to feed off tourist revenue. Strangely enough, most of these tourists were not even Western looking. They were Thai or Japanese. I think people in Japan are on their vacation right now. There seems to be a lot of Japanese traveling around in the last couple weeks. 



At the Crack of Dawn. It was beautiful to see this large glossy aqua tinted lake encircled by green hills and purple mountains. Since it was the early morning, there was a blanket of fog that skimmed the top of the water. That should also signify how freezing it was up on the mountain. It was so cold. I know, again. All I had was that tiny little pullover. Honestly, the reasonable person would have bought a sweater by now. I think either I was trying to make myself suffer for not preparing well enough or I just didn’t want to spend any more money. You know, I am only making a teacher’s salary. I felt paralyzed from the cold and the possible frostbite my hands and feet would inevitable get. Though, it didn’t distract me from taking pictures or taking in the entire landscape.

I shouldn’t be complaining. There was a model wearing a shoulder baring wedding dress out on a raft in the middle of the lake. She looked cold but she sucked it up. If she can do it, so can I. Though, I’m not getting paid to suck it up. Nevertheless I did. The sunrise and sky itself was not noteworthy but the scenery was beautiful as the clear skies and golden rays of the sun struck the silky waters of the lake.  After nestling around the villager’s fire pit and a chilly walk through the forest and village, we made our way back to the van ready for our next destination.


Pai’s China Town? We visited Ban Rak Thai, which is a small city with a large population of Chinese immigrants. I guess these particular Chinese immigrants escaped to Thailand when China was swept over by Communism. We had an early lunch in one of the restaurants overlooking some of the prettiest views of the clear lake and village. The view was magnificent. I took a lot of pictures, some of which I might consider for my next painting. Lunch was delicious and spicy. I met some of the other people on the tour who helped me understand more of Thai culture, food, and language. While we were eating they kept testing me on what I was eating. I learned some Thai while eating good food. Not a bad combination.


What? We Can’t Play! We went to a national park called Namtok Pha Suea Forest Park which is well known for its exceptional waterfalls. There are six levels of waterfalls from mountains that extend into Burma. Oh man! It reminds me of Kanchantaburi’s waterfalls. We were so excited to swim and jump off the falls. I even had my bathing suit on ready for another adventure. Unfortunately, we were only given 30 minutes at this park and we weren’t allowed to jump off these. The falls were still pretty. I wandered around the rocky surroundings, getting closer and closer to the water. I even tried getting into the pools of water but it was a bit out of reach and the signs that displayed a ‘No Swimming’ picture were discouraging.

 
Let’s Get Dirty. Our next destination was the hot springs and mud spa called Phu Klone at Baan Mork Jampae. This area is known for having some of the world’s best mud. Sounds weird, right? The mud or clay is considered to be very pure in properties and is comparable to the mud found in the Dead Sea. At this spa, you can choose to swim in a pool of hot spring water or enjoy a mud facial or body wrap. It is pretty inexpensive too. Well considering that it is mud, you would think it would be inexpensive to rub it on your skin. But you know how places in the States will hike up the price for features like mud spas because of the novelty appeal. Most of Phu Klone spa features price ranges from $2-$10. We didn’t have time or the money to get our entire body layered in mud so we stuck with just the facial. It was such a weird feeling getting mud lathered onto my face. I felt so dirty but so clean at the same time. We also added a foot soak in the hot springs to experience water untainted by human touch or feces. And with my bacteria-infested feet, I definitely needed the foot soak.

A Childhood Memory. Having mud on your face was strange. It hardens and you look silly as you try to speak or express any type of emotion on your face. It felt rather refreshing to take off, although I had mud stuck inside my nose, on the roots of my hair, and underneath my fingernails. And it wouldn’t come out! I remember when I was younger, I had this good friend. She was the toughest girl I knew back in 2nd and 3rd grade. We used to play together all the time but she really wasn’t too nice to me. Honestly, I think we were just friends because we were one of the only Asians at school. Surprisingly, I used to look more Asian when I was younger. I wonder happened? 

She bullied me around a little bit and made me feel insignificant at times. She would barter our friendship based on her mood or challenges that she would bestow on me. For example, she once told me that only tomboys are allowed to be friends with her. Although I wasn’t the girliest of girls, I knew I wasn’t a tomboy. But I told her I was. She then stuck her hand deep in wet mud until it covered half her forearm. She wiped it on the tree and looked at me with condescending eyes. She said, “Well, if you are such a tomboy, you would put your hand in mud and wipe it on the tree.” Of course, I don’t know if those were her exact words, considering that it was over 17 years ago but I do remember this moment vividly. Though I was confused on why this qualified me as a tomboy, I confidently stuck my hand in the mud and wiped it on the tree. She started to laugh at me and skipped away. She knew that she can control me and make me do whatever she wanted. This displayed my incessant need for approval and my need for everyone to like me. And honestly, I still feel like I’m still doing this; sticking my hand in mud trying to prove myself to people who don’t matter as much as my own self.

Long Necks. I’m sure most people have seen pictures of these secluded village people. These Padaung villagers are from an ethnic group called the Kayan. They are originally from Burma or Myanmar and are refugees from the extreme military regime. They migrated to the most northern parts of Thailand in Mae Hong Son where they established their home and tourism based economy. They are well known for their special textiles and weavings but mainly for their big ear lobes and long necks.







In their culture, it is considered beautiful for women to have elongated necks. Even by the age of five, young girls will already have had a couple brass neck rings to begin to neck lengthening process. Adding more brass rings signifies your age and beauty. So as you get older, you continue to add more rings to your neck. For the most part, these rings stay on your neck for the rest of your life. Some say that upon taking them off, the neck muscles cannot hold themselves up without support. Thus many women become badly injured or die from this element. Others say that all that may happen is the neck muscles become weakened over time and has a slight skin discoloration. But with some time, many women can live without the brass rings. A similar stretching strategy is used on their ear lobes, in which they use an object to widen the hole of the ear lobe. Many find neck lengthening very damaging and repulsive especially with the younger ones. The young girls do not have a say in their own future as a long neck. Once they are in the kinder years, the rings are placed on their neck and they become a crucial part of the tourist industry. Motives for continuing this odd tradition is said to be for cultural preservation. But it is also maintained to support the tribes’ livelihood as they are not able to legally work in Thailand since they are refugees. 


I felt like I was in a movie or a circus show. Upon entering, you pay the viewing fee and you enter a passage bordered by vendors selling the villages’ handmade creations. From afar, colorful dresses and gold gleaming rings catches your eye immediately. When your eyes finally focus, you realize “Wow, these people are real.” While you continue to approach, you are in shock that what you are seeing is not an optical illusion; they are real people with really long necks. How is this possible? Each of them manages different shops along the path. They all sell the same exact thing at every shop: ivory or wooden elephant figurines, jewelry, silky sheer scarves, and a set of brass rings for your own neck elongation development. I ended up trying some of the brass rings. I actually didn’t volunteer to try them on. One of the long necks placed the rings on my neck and wrapped one of their scarves around my head. I felt indifferent and uncomfortable about wearing them.


See, I wasn’t sure how I felt about the industry yet. In many of these developing countries, people will exploit certain human rights in order to make money. For example, parents will send their kids out on the streets since it is easier to empathize with young sellers. So people give them money, thus continuing to fuel the economy of child solicitors. Because I paid to get in the village, I contributed to the village’s livelihood but also the preservation of their economy and their children’s long necks. But I wanted to see them in person before I made a judgment about their society. When wearing the rings, I noticed how heavy they were. I can see how their necks would start to stretch with the weight alone. The dense rings would gradually push their collarbone down over time, creating more space between the person’s torso and head. Don’t worry; I did not become a long neck. The rings on my neck were easily removable and I took them off right away once I got my pictures.
It was interesting to observe these women and their day to day life. You don’t see many men around in the village unless you sneak into their thatched-roof stilted houses nearby. They are almost hidden since they don’t really contribute to the spectacle. Though, you see quite a lot of children running around with several rings around their necks. Most of them are readily selling to you as you pass by their shop. There was even one three year old who knew the three basic selling dialogue lines in English: Would you like to buy? I give you good price. How much you pay? These are the children who help fuel the economy. And we, tourists, are the ones that feed into this industry as we gawk at these giraffe looking kids and people. You start to wonder if the kids know what they are getting themselves into: a world of tourism, circus acts, and isolation from the outside world maybe. Probably not, they are too young to understand the long term effects. It’s hard but I’m trying not to make a judgment. I’m just hoping that the young girls can make their own decisions at an early enough stage.

Another Temple... I think I’m about templed out. I have seen so many already since I started traveling. This temple was rather unique though. Wat Phra That Doi Kong Moo is a Burmese style temple overlooking the beautiful valley of Mae Hong Son. Most tourists are brought up here because of the extravagant view of the city and the blinding white appearance of the temple’s two chedis located on top of the mountain. It was so bright it was difficult to look at for a period of time. Monks can be seen walking around the chedis several times, offering their donations to each of the small shrines in the chedis. But it was so hot up on this mountain. I can’t even image how the monks must have felt underneath their full length robes.



Here Fishy Fishy. We headed over to a national park well known for their fish caves. After paying an entrance fee, we walked throughout a park full of grass, trees, lakes, and boy and girl scouts. There were a lot of scouts participating in drills and physical activities. This is probably what all our kids do during those weekend camps they always complain about. 


Scouts of Thailand. Being part of boy and girl scouts isn’t an extracurricular activity here in Thailand. It is part of the school curriculum. Brought about by King Rama VI, students are required to participate in scouts, engage in specific scout training and camps, and wear their scout uniforms to school at least one day a week. Scouting is a very significant part of Thai culture and the program is credited for producing agile and responsive scouts during disaster. Though we haven’t seen this side of our kids yet, our students participate in many school functions, which unfortunately require them to stand in the sun for a while. Especially, when it’s the sun in Thailand, it must be torture. I’ve even seen one student at my school faint from dehydration as she was standing in the sun for a couple hours. The school staff apathetically carried her off the field while other students continued standing. My mom used to tell me that when she was in grade school, her principal used to make the students stand out in the sun for a couple of hours. She used to describe this event as being rather brutal as the Taiwanese sun isn’t much cooler than the Thai sun. Students would faint and the school staff would drag them off the field one by one. She used to tell me that she always wished she was able to faint so it would give her an excuse to be taken out of the sun. But she never did faint.

That was a bit of a tangent. But my tangent is mainly because the fish caves were rather dull. There was a beautiful lake with large fish scrounging around for food. The caves weren’t even caves but more like a small water hole full of fish. I was expecting mystery and hazardous exploration of the caves and wild fish flopping and flying from the waters. But it was pretty basic. There were fish in the water. We bought food for the fish, fed them, and then went on our way.

Sundown on a Doi. Our last stop was pretty remarkable. We went on top of one of the highest mountains in the area, Doi Kiew Lom, to watch the sunset. The scenery was amazing with the combination of dusky clouds, auburn sun rays, and mountains and valleys for miles. It didn’t even look real. That’s how exquisite it was. On one side of the mountain, the shadows from the clouds gave landscape such depth it was hard to capture in just a picture. On the other side, the sun was setting vividly painting the sky with shades of orange, purple, yellow, and blue. The mountains stood in perfectly with a nice silhouette backdrop. Pictures do not do it justice. 

The view from one side of the mountain


The view from the other side


Person Highlight

The other day I met this man named Tik, a free-spirited nomad whose speech and expression is as slow and peaceful as his way of life. Tik caught me fiddling with my door, unable to lock it up before taking a stroll around town. After finding me a new key and lock from the guesthouse his friend owns, he told me a little bit about his life. He has a pretty extraordinary story. Though he is of Thai descent, he speaks fluent English so I was able to easily communicate with him. 

Tik was born and raised in Thailand but he has been traveling since he has been able to walk. He has traveled to many countries and lived in worked in many countries.  He lived in England for seven years and has been living in and out of India for the last five years or so. He is a bit of a Renaissance man as he was a musician in India, farm worker in Mongolia, sous chef in England, and now a business owner in Thailand. Why do I keep on finding so many well-traveled and well-rounded people out here? I wish I were able to do what they’ve done. I guess I still have time. A couple days later I found him singing at one of the bars as I was exploring the night market. We both recognized each other and he bought me a drink while I watched his performance. After the show, we talked for a couple hours and I was so intrigued by his unique and laidback character I bombarded him with questions.

Tik was one of those people who responds to all questions with, “Love, that is all you need” or “How can I answer that question? I love everything in the world. Everything is equal to me.” I wasn’t asking controversial or thought provoking questions. They were pretty basic. Which country was your favorite to visit? What was your favorite food to cook when working in England? It was difficult to get a straight answer from him as he seemed to not care for anything or have too much care for everything. I asked about his business he was starting in Thailand. He told me it was a business concept he picked up from India but he wanted to establish it in Pai. He wanted to create an institution that revolved around cooking and yoga. There was one more feature in that mix. I think it had to do with meditation or something. Whether visitors wanted to pay or not pay, he wanted everyone to live peacefully at his abode while embracing these few skill sets. I have a feeling most visitors won’t pay. Maybe I’m being a bit pessimistic. Maybe I’m being realistic.

I’ve always been interested in yoga since I’m not too flexible as I can barely touch my toes. More than just that, yoga has always been appealing since I am a stressball with back issues. Incorporating yoga into my life seems like a good way to lower anxiety and strengthen my core. However, I don’t think I have the attention span for it. My mind is constantly racing with thoughts and questions. What am I going to do today? How I should deal with this problem? Who is Dexter going kill next? It’s difficult for me to completely clear my head. This is how I was back in college. After hurting my back last fall, my friend Sam gave me a free trial to his yoga studio. Since he had similar issues with his back, he knew exactly what remedy might work for me. So I joined him for some yoga. Surprisingly, I was able to clear my mind for at least majority of the session. It was relaxing but it also helped my back pain. Since then, I have been very interested in trying out yoga some more.

Because I was interested in the art, I asked Tik about his experience with yoga. He told me that he prefers a different form of yoga called Tantra. It is basically doing yoga while having sex. Well, it’s much more than that. The practice has very strong ties to Buddhism and is said to be one of the many steps to reaching enlightenment. Wow, go Buddhists! He started to describe the mindset and the physical actions that he would do while performing this type of yoga. I was completely taken aback and slightly repulsed as I didn’t want to hear all the details of his sexual activities. I became immediately uncomfortable and changed the subject quickly. Now, I know how it feels to be blathered to about sex. I’m sorry to those who have heard ceaseless stories of my intimate details. It’s not too pleasant I realize.

I slept in the next morning. Yes, I did. I slept in and it felt so good. Waking up at nine in the morning felt bizarre. It felt like I was doing something wrong. I believe there are some of you out there that don’t even think this is sleeping in. But for me, it was. Since starting my teaching program, I haven’t really had too many late mornings. Every day, I would set five to six alarms around five in the morning. I would set that many alarms because I would get to sleep very late. Sometimes I wouldn’t get to bed until three or four in the morning. So waking up with just a few hours of sleep was difficult and setting several alarms was crucial. For some reason, I still do pretty well with just a couple hours of sleep. I sustain a great deal of energy and become more wired as the day goes on. However, I end up getting migraines and headaches more often under these circumstances and my panda eyes tend to worsen over time.

Even after my program, I’ve been very busy, maybe with the less crucial features of life—preparing for Thailand and hanging out and drinking with friends. And in Thailand, with the amount of work that Sarah and I put into our teaching, our nights and mornings are consumed with not sleeping. But despite not getting enough rest, at least I’m always doing something. It’s much better than being bored and going to sleep because of it.

I didn’t have any real plans the following day. And it felt good. I stayed in town and explored a bit, talking to locals and drinking some delicious green tea at a nearby cafĂ©. I did plan to meet up with Tik and his friends for dinner. He invited me to Beer o’clock, which was a time they all were going to be drinking good beer (which means Chang beer), eating good food, and having good conversation. Since he was a sous chef back in England, he was going to display some of his culinary mastery to me and a couple other friends. 



First, Tik took me to the local’s market and introduced me to some new and exotic fruits and vegetables I’ve never seen before. He even taught me how to say some of the food items in Thai—which I can’t seem to remember anymore. When we got back, we went into one of the hostel’s kitchens and started to prepare some of the food. It was pretty neat being in this type of environment. I felt like I was part of the family as everyone was speaking a mix between Thai and English, trying to accommodate me and my unilingual skills. They even let me have some part in the cooking. I didn’t do such a great job though. They all were making fun of the way I was cutting the veggies and handling the food. I couldn’t catch a break.  I deserved it though. I made a mess and probably messed up the recipe a bit.

On the menu was marinated and barbequed chicken, an assortment of veggies, and beer. Rather basic but it was amazing. Everything was created from scratch and made with fresh produce. The chicken was marinated in this Mediterranean and Indian curry type base. A homemade chili and garlic sauce was made to be drizzled on top of the chicken. Juicy and crunchy veggies and crispy pita bread was added in the mix. The chicken was so good it felt like it was melting away each papilla on my tongue. Wait, that sounds pretty painful. It wasn’t painful. It was so good we almost ate all the chicken while barbequing. With only a little bit of chicken left over from the cookout, we had our meal together. Our dinner setting wasn’t extravagant or restaurant-like but the food was spectacular. I would definitely go to Tik’s restaurant if he still had one. We had a couple beers, ate with our hands, and had a rather crude dialogue in Thainglish. It was a great dinner.

Look What I Found! As I was looking around the hostel’s reception area, preparing the table, a book in the bookcase caught my eye. The worn book cover read ‘The History of Thailand’ from the 1980’s. I picked it up immediately and started to skim through it. Are you serious? All of it is in this book, all of Thailand’s history. It describes in excruciating detail each kingdom’s story. It tells about each king from their childhood to their entire reign. It describes the funky laws that the kingdom used to impose on their people. It even reveals the tidbits of information you would never be able to find online and those of which I can’t speak of in public. I couldn’t believe that I found a book that would help educate me and my students. Forget trying to translate Thai scripted Thai history books or skimming Wikipedia articles to get the gist of Thai history. It was all here in this book.

I began to frantically jot down as many notes as I could while skimming the pages. I’m only here for one more night and I need this information for class. I started to become drained from writing so much so I asked the hostel owner if I could buy the book from him. See, usually hostels provide book exchanges instead of purchases. They have a variety of weathered books left behind by wandering tourists and people who stay at the hostel can exchange their used books for other used books. However, he gave me the price of a whopping 150 ฿ or $3 for the book. Three dollars for my students’ education. I gladly handed over money for this prized possession. I don’t think he has ever seen someone so zealous over a book in his bookcase. But he doesn’t know how much trouble it has been for me to teach Thai history. There wasn’t anything online even close to the amount of detail it provided. I wasn’t sure if this book was banned in Thailand since it was abnormally thorough. And in Thailand, if a book is banned and you publicize its content, you will be in jail for a long time. Just in case, I checked online for Thailand’s banned books and searched for its title and author. Nothing showed up. I am going to be such a good Thai history teacher now.

Feel the Rhythm, Eat the Beat? Afterwards we went to Edible Jazz, a live music joint where Tik and his friends were performing. I liked the concept of this bar and guesthouse. You can eat, drink, and listen to some relaxing, jazz music. Well, it’s not that unique as you can actually do that at a lot of places. Maybe it’s the distinctive name that I really liked. It was calming being able to huddle around the campfire with fellow travelers while sipping on warm Chang beer—compliments my extremely slow drinking habits and my irritating intolerance for beer. After the show, Tik and I sat down and talked for a bit. I was very interested in Tik’s story but it all started to become redundant. Every time I asked him something, he would always respond with a vague and unaffiliated answer. And I asked him a lot of questions. In our entire conversation over two days, he never asked me any questions about myself. I was fine doing all the asking since I wanted to learn about him. But it was rather strange having a one-sided dialogue between us.

It was getting late and I was very tired. After a discussion about tea, he asked if I wanted to try his famous chai tea he used to make back in England. I didn’t know if this was a ploy to try something with me or if ‘chai tea’ was a cue for something more vulgar, so I kindly declined his offer. It was dark and late and I didn’t feel comfortable enough to go to a strange man’s house. Unfortunately, I have been craving chai teach for a couple of weeks.

A Local’s Abode. The next morning, when it was light outside, I decided to take Tik up on his chai tea offer (and definitely not his ‘chai tea’ offer if that even crossed his mind). He picked me up on his motorcycle and he rode a bit out of town to get to his house. I felt so strange being a Farang and riding on a bike that I wasn’t paying for. By the way, I am a motorbike hoar now. I can’t stop riding them. I ride motorbikes all the time now and I ride them all over town. I prefer them over any other vehicle. Can you believe the change? I still can’t.

Despite our worn-out conversations, it was a nice feeling hanging out with Tik and trying to submerge myself in the local community. He introduced me to his neighbors and friends along the way and I tried to absorb everything I could, developing a better sense of the unique Pai and Thai culture. It was also very beautiful on the drive over to his house. He is very lucky to be able to live in an area like this. Pai is one of those areas that when most people visit, they could imagine living here one day. For some people I met, this thought has become true and now they live here. Some only planned to stay for a week and now have been residing for a couple of months. Some had come back to Pai after experiencing substandard living and have lived here ever since.


When I got to his house, I was shocked at how quaint and nice it was. This is mainly because he is supposed to be the ultimate hippie who believes in the simple things in life and hasn’t held a job for over six months (and very proud of it). His house was meticulously structured and designed to look like a hippie abode. It was made out of wood and bamboo and its surroundings and interior screamed ‘I’m made from nature’. But it looked more expensive than your typical flowerchild eco-lodging. I don’t even know what a typical hippie house would even look like. I was thinking maybe a tent or a tree warped, wooden shack formed solely by nature and made with peace and love.


Summing It All Up. He made some chai tea and we talked some more. Again, it was difficult to get a straight answer from him and his dialogue began to get too whimsical for my taste. But I think he embodies a little bit of what Pai has to offer to travelers; a ‘one with nature’ world without expectations, pace, societal conforming opinions and actions, and adult responsibility. Though an appealing lifestyle for a short while, I don’t know if I could live here permanently. Not like Bangkok is any better. It’s too fast paced and dirty to live in Bangkok for long time, in my opinion. But what I appreciate the most about Pai is the crisp clean atmosphere, the excess of surrounding nature, and the ease of everything. However, I need more. It is wonderful that some people can make Pai their home. It’s one of the most enchanting places I’ve ever visited and I would like to come back again in the future. It would be a good R&R for the next time I have a teaching crisis.

Ting Tong means crazy in Thai

Some insights from the Dalai Lama:


So true!



Friday, January 20, 2012

Can I Have a Retest?

January 16-20, 2012

What? We have to turn in all our midterm exams by tomorrow! This is the first I’ve heard of this. This school seems to be indifferent about everything we do. So it’s strange that they would be in dire need of our midterms. Just like any school, our school has midterm exams. Our exam week is not for another week but now they are requiring us to turn in our exams early so the Thai teachers can make copies for all the students. I think I was the only person that didn’t know that they were supposed to be done this early. How frustrating! How am I supposed to get almost 15 midterm exams for six different grade levels prepared and ready by tomorrow morning? Why didn’t anyone tell me? We should really have some type of bulletin board put up in the teacher’s lounge or something. It is stressful trying to guess what we may or may not be doing. And I don’t always know the right questions to ask.

Making the Test. So I made the midterms from scratch. They don’t provide us any testing material or resources so we can create the tests to our own standard. This is ideal since I can cater the tests to my student’s abilities and assess them on the historical facts I believe is most important. But at the same time, it can be damaging since I can test them on whatever I feel like and no one is holding me accountable. This is basically the theme for this school though. I’m in the class with each grade for multiple subjects and no one knows what I am teaching. I could be teaching them that the world is flat and Christopher Columbus was a really great guy. I could be teaching them Communist ideals.  I could even be teaching them about katoeys and the benefits of having an STD. No one checks up on me. No one comes in to observe my class. The Thai teachers are barely there and when they are they are dazing off or gossiping with the kids as I am teaching. No one is holding me accountable. This is strange. I never thought I would want that uncomfortable feeling of having someone monitor me. Muhaha. This is how I can impose my own propaganda. I have so much power. What should I teach them to believe next? Any suggestions?

So after a grueling day of staring at the computer and my books, I created my midterm exams and review sheets. I was very proud of my work. I had a great mix of vocabulary definitions, multiple choice questions, and short answer questions. Coming up with the multiple choice answers were pretty difficult but fun. I was nervous though. I had a feeling that these kids don’t really do their work, or at least their own work. They might not do too well on my test. Whenever they turn in homework or classwork, if they even do or attend class at all, their work always looks exactly identical to the person next to them. It will be nice to finally see who copies who while evaluating these tests.

I am most interested and most nervous about the whole ‘kids never fail’ policy plays out during the midterm. I have tried to make my tests cater to everyone’s ability. But if they don’t study, they will fail. How will this work? Will they get retested? Do I have to make my tests easier? Can I not give any retests and tell them they have to make it up with attendance and other assignments? Retests just sound like more work. More test making, more grading, and more time. Sounds terrible.

After completing all of my tests, I found out that a few of my classes were not supposed to have midterms and were not scheduled to have midterms. I was quite irritated by this since those midterms were the hardest ones to make. Some of those classes did not have any textbooks or relevant resources so all my research was done online or through the books found in our substandard library. See, how was I supposed to know that at least four of the classes I teach don’t require midterms? How am I supposed to know to ask that question? One would just assume if you teach a class, you would also test them for midterms just like you would for any other class. Bulletin board, really!

The Test. Testing week is very strange. Instead of having test from the beginning to the end of the school week, we test students from Tuesday to Saturday. So we have normal classes on Monday but have to come in on Saturday for some reason. I was lucky. The social exams were scheduled for Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. So I was exempt from coming in on Saturday. Another design of exam week that I thought was a bit strange is that three grade levels take their midterms at the same time. They all take one teacher’s midterm at the same time. For example, they test my 7th graders, 8th graders, and 9th graders on social studies during one period. They have a five minute break before those same grades get tested on Thai history for the next period. That’s only for social studies. Afterwards, they have three or four more subjects to get tested on. So instead of spreading the material over the week, they receive multiple tests within one day and multiple days off between tests.

Since they test all the students at the same time, it is difficult for one teacher to proctor the exams. All the grade levels are spread out between six classrooms so that is a lot of classrooms to monitor at one time. These kids cheat all the time too and there is nothing we can really do about it. And they know this. I was relieved to know that there was a Thai teacher in each of the classrooms. I thought that should help. Oh, but it didn’t.

During the test, I tried to rotate from one classroom to another. But it was difficult. The kids asked a lot of questions so it became hard for me to manage my time equally in each classroom. This became more of a problem since these kids are little cheating rascals. Right before walking into each classroom, I could see all of them having a discussion with each other. One student will announce my arrival and all the students would face forward and pretend to be looking on to their own papers.

Thai teachers are supposed to be in their monitoring but when entering my classrooms, the teachers weren’t anywhere to be found. This means that the kids can share as much of their answers as they want. I heard that some of Thai teachers were trying to give answers away for the students. What’s worse is many times the Thai teachers don’t even know the subject that well and end up giving the students the wrong answer. It’s not like I believe the student doesn’t deserve it but the method is really detrimental to the students’ progress anyhow. One of the foreign teachers informed me that many of the students were all talking during the exams. Even the Thai teacher was spotted casually chatting away with the kids during the exam. Ten students in this particular class did not have time to finish the rest of the exam. I wonder why?

After being informed about all the cheating that was happening during the exams, I decided to be more vocal for the next round of exams. I went to each of the six classrooms and mentioned the repercussions I will impose if I catch them cheating. I used the scare tactic: You will get a big fat zero, to rile them up a little bit. Then I gave them all a mean glare. They looked scared at first, but I think it’s all a front. I know that they didn’t listen to me. They never do. Then, I went to all the Thai teachers and asked them individually if they can make sure the kids don’t cheat. Most of them hardly acknowledged me. One teacher responded with: “I can’t. They just talk.” I was confused. “Why can’t you? They are not allowed to talk or cheat. Make them stop talking.” The Thai teacher replied, “I can’t stop them from talking. They talk too much.” In complete disbelief, I asserted, “Just don’t let them talk or cheat.”

Before, during, and after the test, I mostly heard excuses and complaints. I guess there is such a thing as a stupid question:

  • Do we have to answer these questions?
(while pointing to the entire test, he was serious or maybe just hopeful)

  • Do I have to take the exam?

  • Why do we have to study?

  • Do I have to write anything if there’s no enough space?

  • Can I have a retest?
(before even getting the test)

  • Why the test so hard?
(without even looking at the test yet)

  • I had a cough yesterday. Can I take the test next week?

  • Do we get points for our name?

  • Does this test count?

After the test…

Students (in the Thai accent): “Teach-chaa, so haaahhrd.”

Me: “Well, did you study?”

Some guiltlessly shook their head and some took their fingers and squished them together to signify how little they studied. This meant that if they did study at all, it was the five minutes that they had before the test.

Grading. I knew more than half of them cheated. What a waste of time for me, grading all these exams. I might as well give them all the same score since it was basically a group effort. I could actually follow through with the threat of giving them a zero, but it’s not allowed. And even if I did, the school would just make me retest all of them until they passed or until I changed the test. I would still end up with the same problem, exerting more work that isn’t as useful for the kids and never being acknowledged.

It was obvious that the kids cheated too. In one class, every single student copied each other’s answers. For this class, I counted nine of the questions that had the same exact response, word for word. They didn’t even attempt to cover up their plagiarism. They just wrote down exactly what their friend had. The funny thing is all 9 of the answers were wrong. So they copied all the wrong answers. I definitely gave them all a piece of my mind.

In Thailand, fifty percent and above is passing. So they can receive a 50% in their overall grade and be able to move on to the next grade. When I handed back midterms, one student shouted with glee when he found out he got a 50%. He started gloating about his passing grade, passing his exam paper around like a trophy. Then he received high fives from his friends for this wonderful accomplishment, those of which weren’t too far from that 50% as well. While grading, I was rather lenient. I definitely counted some answers that were questionable and tried giving them some credit. But even so, many of them failed.

Retest. We are required to give them retests if they received below a 50% on the exam. I didn’t like their attitudes so I required anyone with a 60% and below to retest. They didn’t study for the retest though. I was able to keep a better eye on them during the retest since I put all the testers in one room. Many of them ended up doing worse, maybe because they were doing their own work this time. Some did better probably because they were actually doing their own work.

I heard more excuses. Some of the same ones like, “It’s too hard”, “I don’t feel good”, “can I take it next week?

But some of their work was actually quite ridiculous, desperate, and funny. Keep in mind, these kids are high schoolers in an English program. Here are some examples of student work: 

7. Which kingdom ended right before the Ratthanakosin kingdom?
King Taksin

He must have mistaken the word kingdom for king. When he took his retest, I noticed that he put down this same answer, King Taksin. So I told him to go back and reread the question. He came back with:

7. Which kingdom ended right before the Ratthanakosin kingdom?
King Taksin   Ratthanakosin kingdom

Oh man! Sometimes these kids do not even read the questions. They are so used to copying and pasting that it’s just second nature for them. I’ve noticed that many of them did this for the other questions. They would just take whatever word was in the question and use it as the answer.

13. What did Phra Maha Tammarachathirat do to show loyalty to the Burmese king?
Please pass me

38. What were some of the requirements needed for a country to join the EU?
Teacher Christy

28. Which colony was the only Southeast Asian colony to never be colonized?
Brain

Really??? I could not believe my eyes when I saw this one. We have never even talked about the brain before in social studies. I even asked their science teacher if they ever went over his part of the human anatomy. Nope. This was all on her own. Brain?? Really? Definitely not a country. I did have some students put down Portugal, Spain, and England as some answers. Those are not Asian countries. But at least, they got the country part right.

No one reads the directions. Everyone cheats. I need to have a big talk with every one of my classes. This disaster of an exam week has now ended. I’m really going to crack down on some of these kiddos. Pop quizzes before each class. Homework. Projects. Maybe I’ll be nice and throw in a couple extra credit opportunities. They are going to need it. 

Take a look at these funny student answers from the Why Teachers Drink publication: