Do I Have to Go?

January 5, 2012

I’ve been dreading this; it is my last day in Cambodia. So far I have loved everything I have seen and experienced in Cambodia. Even getting denied a visa wasn’t the worst thing. It just means that I will have to travel to another country. The Khmer Rouge definitely puts things in perspective as well. Because I couldn’t get my visa, I have to fly into Thailand instead of walking across the border. If you travel across the border by land, you can only have 15 days in the country before getting kicked out. If you fly, you get 30 days. Having almost a month seemed more reasonable especially since I don’t have enough time and can’t afford another border run for a little while. This trip has now become a little more expensive than I thought it would.

My Personal Tour Guide. Sothyta met with me the next morning to show me around her city. We first explored this shopping center called the Russian Market. It is a market place that is well known for selling brand name or counterfeit brand name products exported from several countries around the world. They sold an abundant amount of shoes everywhere too. Rows and shelves of shoes of all sorts, packaged in plastic wrap. I’ve never seen so many shoes in one place. We walked around for a little bit but I wasn’t too interested in buying anything with a label. I did manage to see a couple trinkets that I was interested in. Sothyta helped me get some pretty good discounts on a lot of the items. The vendors told me that if I didn’t come with someone who was Khmer, I would’ve gotten a more expensive price. Most of the items I purchased used to be over five dollars or so. Because of her presence, each souvenir I bought was just a dollar. Maybe I’ll start claiming that I’m half Khmer when I shop. No one believes I’m Taiwanese anyways. I’ll just squint my eyes a bit and throw out a peace sign. That makes people look more Asian, right?

Diamond Island. Sothyta drove me around, showing me the parts of the town that the least amount of tourists roam around. She drove me across the river to this region called Diamond Island or Koh Pih. It is a local’s region in which large elaborate weddings take place and the new and upcoming living area for the rich and fabulous. It seemed like the neighborhood was still being developed as it was clear of people and buildings and occupied with construction machines and workers. There used to be a suspension bridge that connected the riverbanks together called the Diamond gate. During the recent water festival, there was a massive stampede of people who crowded the bridge. Because of bad construction, the entire bridge crumbled with over 400 people on it. Everyone died in this unfortunate accident. This was a devastating loss for Cambodia especially since the country and its capital city is still recovering from the recent loss of lives from the Khmer Rouge. 

Khmer Weddings. Most wedding receptions take place in these large convention centers, usually labeled with an alphabetic letter. I learned some tidbits about the marriage culture in Cambodia. Even in this day and age, girls are supposed to get married around 15 or 16 years old. Jeeze! Can you imagine? I was still awkward and going through puberty at that age. Sothyta joked that she is now too old to get married, at the elderly age of 21. Weddings are very expensive in Cambodia, as they are in many other countries. The financial part of weddings makes the whole marriage and wedding concept even more unappealing—at least for me. Even for decorative flowers, it can cost a minimum of 20,000 USD! And Cambodia is still developing as a country. Can you imagine how many families can thrive off even the tiniest bit of that sum? Most people work for a dollar a day over here. Additionally, if one of your siblings gets married this year, you are not allowed to get married for another year after that. I think this is an actual rule but it’s also a way to respect your parent’s rapidly depleting savings. 

Wat Phnom. The story behind this temple starts with a queen named Penh. One day, Queen Penh was walking along the river bank of the Tonle Sap River when she came across a Buddha figure washed up on the shore. She was so honored finding the statue, she decided to make a temple in devotion to its discovery. This temple became Wat Phnom. The people celebrated the Buddha statue and her discovery that they named the capital city after her, Phnom Penh. Now this temple is a famous temple many Buddhists go to pray.

Do you see the birdies?

Sothyta brought me to this temple and introduced me to her spiritual rituals. Though not Buddhist or affiliated with any religion at this point, I was excited to learn what Buddhists do when they are at temple. She showed me the series of steps that she takes when going to temple. First, she brought me two doves and placed them in my hands. She told me to make a wish as I let them go. So I let them go. I don’t even know if I made a wish. I was just fascinated that these doves were so calm and docile when surrounded by my hands. They didn’t seem to want to leave my gentle grasp until I forced them out of my hands and into the air. No animals were harmed during this process. 

Next, she gave me lotus flowers, the main symbol for enlightenment in Buddhism. You are supposed to simply place these flowers in a vase inside the temple. Again, you make a wish after fitting them in amongst the bunch of lotus flowers. Lastly, she gave me incense sticks. We lit the sticks, positioned the stems in our flattened hands and prayed to the Buddha statues displayed in the main part of the temple. After you are done praying, you place the burning incense sticks into a large pot full of more burning incense sticks. Incense used to make me naseous for some reason. I think I used to burn too much of it when I was in my semi-hippie stage. My mom dislikes when I lit incense. She tells me that I should only do that when I’m honoring the dead. She’s funny since she doesn’t even believe in that sort of thing. I think it’s only an ingrained notion for her as it is a spiritual tradition passed down from her family.

I don't think I'm actually praying. It looks like I'm about to fall asleep.

Independence Monument. It seems like every country has a prominent monument to commemorate their independence. It makes sense. Independence is a very noteworthy development in a country’s progress. We passed by this unique looking structure cleverly called the Independence Monument. This monument was built in 1958 after Cambodia gained independence from France. Initiated by King Sihanouk, the structure is in an Angkorian style compositon with a multitude of snake heads on each of its five levels. Its surroundings are similar to the French design of the Arc de Triomphe as it is in the middle of a roundabout and is a bit difficult to walk to.

Sothyta drove me to the ritzy part of the city. It was so strange to see the contrast between the rich and the poor and how close in vicinity their differing neighborhoods were. One side of the street would have shack-like village abodes while the other side had large elegant mansions guarded by elevated walls and security. We traveled to the nicer part of the neighborhood to grab a cup of coffee.

Culture quirks. During our coffee break, Sothyta informed me of some interesting aspects of her culture. Some of them include:

 

• It is very difficult for Khmer people to get a visa. Especially when the destination is the United States, the Khmer government will usually find ways to deny your application. Sothyta has been rejected many times in the past. It is difficult for her, and many other young girls, to get their USA visa because the government believes that their young women will never come back once being in the States. They are afraid women will find and marry an American man and become an American citizen. The only way she was able to get her visa was when her mom applied for her instead. Going alone or coming alone makes things more difficult for a young Khmer woman.

• The older generation does not talk about the Khmer Rouge. Sothyta and her friends’ family members went through the terrors of the Khmer Rouge. But none of them really know what happened since their parents don’t talk about it. All they really know about is which one of their relatives died from the genocide. That’s it! They are afraid to ask their parents, in fear of bring up bad memories (understandably so). If it were me, I think I would be a pest since I’m very nosy about everything.

• You can rarely publicize your relationship with a significant other. This can only be done if he or she is the one you are going to marry. Introducing your boyfriend and girlfriend used to be a big step in many societies decades ago. But now, relationships are treated more casually. I know I’ve comfortably introduced significant others or boys I’ve dated to my parents without the slightest thought of marriage. For many, this introduction into the family doesn’t mean as much as it did in the past. In Cambodia, introducing your significant other is almost the next step to marriage. They still follow many traditions that generations have set out in the past.

• There isn’t too much parking in Phnom Penh. Most people use the sidewalks to park. This is very common as you will see government workers guiding your car into unmarked spots on the sidewalk.

• There isn’t a McDonald’s or Starbucks in Cambodia. Or that’s what Sothyta told me. I later found out that there are these types of corporate stores in an actively Communist/Socialist nation. I’m disappointed since I like the idea of a country being untainted by the corporate world.

• You can earn an annual salary without actually working. If you have a family in a high position or in a specified job, you can obtain a position in that same field and receive a paycheck. While earning the money, you can stay at home or work if you please. It doesn’t matter since you are still earning that money no matter what you do.

The Most Venerable. Right next to my hostel, I saw this beautiful center of gold and red buildings. This was the monk’s living quarters and temples. It was completely open to the public so I decided to I decided to wander around. As I was exploring, I climbed up to the steepest temple. At the top was a large door, slightly ajar. I took off my shoes and creeped in hoping to find something spectacular. I walked in gazing at the décor. I began to take out my camera to take photos until I turned and saw that I just walked into an important looking meeting between two monks. I was embarrassed that I intruded so I apologized and quickly stepped out.


One of the monks followed me outside and asked me to come in. He said that his master wanted to talk to me. I was very confused. Was I going to get reprimanded in some way? Right as I re-entered the building, I saw the other monk sitting down. He was much older than the monk that went to retrieve me. He looked very familiar though but I couldn’t put my finger on it. The younger monk, who spoke good enough English to communicate, introduced me to his master.




Turns out, the reason why I recognized the older monk is because his picture is plastered all throughout temples across Cambodia. He was the master of all monks in Cambodia! The younger monk, or the disciple or assistant of the Master, asked me to sit down with his Master to have a conversation. The disciple translated our whole conversation. First, I learned all about the Master. I learned of his childhood and how he grew up in the monestary. I learned that he was one of the most influential people during the Khmer Rouge era and helped citizens find hope during the terrifying time. I learned that he was the main person the Khmer Rouge tried to kill but he escaped death when a few Vietnamese villagers took him under their wing. Then, he asked questions about me. My story wasn’t as exciting.

After our translated conversation was over, he asked me a favor. He asked me to take his picture so that while I’m traveling, I can show the world and hopefully bring about a sense of peace to everybody I encounter. I gladly accepted this proposal. He then set up his station and positioned himself for a photo. I took a couple pictures, excited that I was able to experience something so exclusive and exceptional. Afterwards, he blessed me and prayed for my happiness and safe travels. Yes, this happened. Does anyone think this is as great as I do?

Feeling Slutty. I have been rather slutty with my email address lately. Since being in Cambodia, I have given my email address to several people. Actually, I have given it out a lot more than just a few times. And for some reason I am giving my contact information mainly to monks. Monks merely ask for my email and I, completely enthusiastic that a monk is even talking to me, give it out without thinking. They would even give me their home address or rather their monastery address. I feel promiscuous in a very odd way. But I figure they can’t really do anything anyways. They are monks! They are pure in spirit and action. I’m just making friends, right? Oh man! I should really stop giving my email to any monk that gives me attention. I should stop giving my email to every person that gives me attention. I should clear my inbox just in case.

The Khmer Delicacy. Spiders. Even saying the name sends a chill down my spine. Why am I so scared of them? When I see one, I do one of three things: I become paralyzed and stare at it until it scurries away, scream for someone to help me get rid of it, or run. So when Kate, Erik, and I met up for lunch at Romdeng (the sister restaurant of Friends), I never knew that I would actually eat one. Yes I did. I ate a spider. And not just any spider; I ate a tarantula. A hairy, leggy, chunky tarantula.



Before eating the spider, the waiter brought a live tarantula over to hang out with us at our table. I was getting very nervous. I could tell I was starting to shake more and more. Maybe if I do this, it will cure me from my fear of spiders. I have to do this. I have to do this. I wanted to eat blowfish in Japan and scorpion in China but I was unsuccessful. This is my chance to eat the craziest thing. It would completely top anything I’ve ever eaten. The live tarantula was placed at our table on a plate. So I picked up the wiggly creature and stuffed it in my mouth, as it relentlessly squirmed for its life. Just kidding...

They actually brought out a platter of friend tarantulas. We were eating dead tarantulas, not live. I was so nervous picking up the crispy critter. I covered it in a ton of the lemon pepper sauce, hoping to mask the odd taste. I got my coconut juice ready to rinse down the flavor. Then I picked it up and on the count of three, Erik and I quickly started to chew on the spider. Hmm. Not too bad. The sauce was actually very good and the tarantula didn’t taste out of the ordinary. Best way to describe it would be…chicken. Maybe a less meaty and juicy version of chicken. Don’t you like how everyone describes most things like chicken? Maybe it makes what you’re eating sound safe and familiar. But the meat didn’t have a strong distinct taste to it. At one point, I was playing with the live tarantula while eating his fried friend. Evil, right? What an adventure. I was shaking for the rest of dinner after that experience. Maybe I won’t be scared of spiders anymore. I just have to think that I’ve eaten one of them already so how can I be scared of something that I so viciously stuffed in my mouth. 

Christy-1...Spider-0...Muhahaha!

Saying Goodbyes. I didn’t want to leave. I felt like there was so much more for me to do and see. I wanted more from the relationships I have just made. I wasn’t done getting to know all the wonderful people I’ve met. Will I ever see them again? I’m starting to really despise saying goodbye. I’ve been meeting some of the most interesting people along my journey and it has been harder and harder to continue the process. You meet, talk, and have great conversations. You exchange numbers or emails and promise to write to each other or meet up in another country. Whether or not that happens, over time communication lessens or becomes nonexistent mostly because of distance. I sometimes think ‘what’s the point?’ 

I’m also beginning to think about all the people I’ve grown apart from in my past; the people who I grew up with, went to school with, played volleyball with, and met on vacation or camp. Many of these people have made some type of impression on me since I’m still thinking about them years down the line. But it’s sad to not have that same connection with them anymore. You start to hope that the moments that they were in your life you were able to learn something from them. These people hopefully have made some type of impact whether small or big, helping to alter the way you live your life. This is how I am trying to cope at least. By taking on this mentality, hopefully I will start to see my lost relationships as more of a positive outcome in my development.

So I said my goodbyes. I said my goodbyes to the barber shop men who I would pass by on the streets every day. I said goodbye to Sothyta and thanked her for a tour around her city. I said my goodbyes to my new friends Kate and Erik, who are true inspirations. I stopped by the Oahwa Internet café again to say my goodbyes to Sokha, Mey, and the other employees. Although our friendship was brief, I’m going to miss them. They made me feel comfortable and needed. I loved hearing their stories and learning more about their culture. 

So I left for the airport and got ready to go back to my life in Bangkok. Ignorantly, I realized I had a Swiss army knife with me in my bag. See, I didn’t think I was going to be flying back to Bangkok. I assumed I was going to cross the border by land. But since I couldn’t get my visa I had to take a flight back. Now, I needed to get my Swiss army knife back with me without them knowing. So I found a secret hiding place in my bag so I can try to sneak past security. I know, it’s really bad. I even placed it next to large fluid bottles hoping that the fluids would conceal the knife I was carrying on board.

But they found it. The security guard was very mad at me, as he should be. He continued exclaiming, “knife can kill, knife can kill.” I tried to explain myself but I didn’t have any good reason to bring it on board. I was a bit sad since it was my first Swiss army knife. I’ve been wanting one for a long time and I finally purchased one for this trip. Another passenger kindly offered to carry it in her check-in luggage. But I never saw her again after we landed. So it’s gone. Oh well. At least we know that airport security is rather meticulous about what people bring on board. I was thinking about bashing airport security if I were actually able to sneak the knife on board. That would be very bad.


Want to see more pictures from my trip to Cambodia? Visit  https://plus.google.com/photos/103535186598541974109/albums/5696407965459412129?authkey=CIzk6NfJ9--LjwE